2004/10/02

Family Ties

Well. She wrote back. 1500 words of I HATE YOU FOR BEING THE ONE WITH A DADDY!

No, of course not. She had a lot of ugly stuff to say about him, but it's nothing I haven't said already. I responded with my own long letter telling her how little had changed in the last 40 years. Some folks grow up. Others stay the same.

Her mom's life was thrown into a loop. From a sweet little house with a white picket family (I'm terrible at metaphors sometimes) they went to welfare and to the projects in Chicago. She'd quit nursing school to marry him. It took years, but she finally climbed out of that hole and raised some really cool kids.

The doors have been flung open and we're both spilling our guts at each other and catching up on 40 years of history. Slowly, I'm getting to know my sister. Wow.

Though I can barely afford to make it to the other side of the Island half the time, I think It's likely that we'll meet one day. Maybe in Chicago, if they ever take me off the watch-list... :-D I know my way around there a lot better than she knows Canada. It'd be cool. My kids have cousins they never knew about, and vice versa.

I sent her a picture. I wonder if I scared her.
Comments:
I just want to say that my Dad adopted me at age 4 and I grew up with a happy life. My mother never hid the truth from me, and I never had any adoption issues, or felt any need to meet the man who impregnated my mother. I am, however, extremely happy and gratefull that she ran into his ex-wife one day when I was 12, at k-mart, and I am lucky enough to have a relationship with my brothers. I really have no interest in meeting a man who had no interest in being my father, but I am sooooooo glad that I get to have a relationship with my brothers. I am excited for you, and think you should throw off that 'survivor guilt' and go build a relationship with a sister who has probably dreamed of meeting you for a very long time. Good Luck!

-Scarlette
 
This is a great story to watch unfold. You're a lucky guy; children aside, we mostly lose blood relatives as we get older; you're gaining them. I hope you do get a chance to meet soon. (Stop by Minnesota on your way.)
 
Oh, I'm so happy for you... and her.

:-)
 
I'm glad you talked, well, wrote. And I hope you eventually lose the guilt you carry around from your father not owning up to his responsibilities. It isn't your fault...as adults, we decide which path to take. He did not choose wisely. Hopefully we did. I'll let you know if I did in a few more years. :-)
 
Dude, that's so freaking cool! I'm happy for you, and enjoying reading about this. This is way more exciting than anything that ever happens to me.
 
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