2004/04/30
The Happy Pan - Part II
I had a lot of self-esteem problems when I was younger. I had no trouble meeting girls, but actually becoming anything other than "a really nice guy and good friend" was pretty much impossible. I had serious rejection issues, you see. It would take me about five years to gather enough courage to actually ask someone out and, of course, by that time we'd become friends. And you know how that goes.
One of the positives to all this, though, is that only the most patient and kind women could stand my fumbling attempts at "not pushing too fast." So my dating experience was generally with either kind and patient women, which was great, or with a few take-charge-and-take-what-I-want-ride-'em-cowgirl!! women who pursued me. This was also great.
Then someone invented the modem and my life was changed forever. I could practice being myself online, just like teenage boys practice flexing their muscles in front of a mirror. What the hell? Nobody could see my face, and if they didn't like me they could go to hell. As it turned out, some folks actually did like the online me. Since my online persona isn't a persona at all but, rather, the real me, I gained a lot of self-esteem via the modem and stopped tripping over my tongue in real life, too.
This led to meeting and marrying someone who is neither patient nor kind. (No! I'm kidding! I can't afford to give away a house, honey, it's just a joke!)
It also led to me speaking my mind more and more often. This means my friends know who they are. All the rest I've told to go to hell for various reasons. Life's too short to spend it dancing around with people you don't really like.
But, and this is the best, it led to me posting this, with somewhat surprising results.
So here's a big shout out to those of you who've added to the happy pan as per request. One submission was enough to balance my anger at an earlier computer problem. Another submission helped to erase the memory of losing a cat a year ago.
I smiled. I'll be smiling this time next month, too. Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy...
;-)
One of the positives to all this, though, is that only the most patient and kind women could stand my fumbling attempts at "not pushing too fast." So my dating experience was generally with either kind and patient women, which was great, or with a few take-charge-and-take-what-I-want-ride-'em-cowgirl!! women who pursued me. This was also great.
Then someone invented the modem and my life was changed forever. I could practice being myself online, just like teenage boys practice flexing their muscles in front of a mirror. What the hell? Nobody could see my face, and if they didn't like me they could go to hell. As it turned out, some folks actually did like the online me. Since my online persona isn't a persona at all but, rather, the real me, I gained a lot of self-esteem via the modem and stopped tripping over my tongue in real life, too.
This led to meeting and marrying someone who is neither patient nor kind. (No! I'm kidding! I can't afford to give away a house, honey, it's just a joke!)
It also led to me speaking my mind more and more often. This means my friends know who they are. All the rest I've told to go to hell for various reasons. Life's too short to spend it dancing around with people you don't really like.
But, and this is the best, it led to me posting this, with somewhat surprising results.
So here's a big shout out to those of you who've added to the happy pan as per request. One submission was enough to balance my anger at an earlier computer problem. Another submission helped to erase the memory of losing a cat a year ago.
I smiled. I'll be smiling this time next month, too. Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy...
;-)
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