Terrible, terrible things

I've been bad

2010-07-04T22:48:00.001-07:00

Last week, I bought an unauthorized water filtration system, (plus a generic flashlight to get over the free shipping limit). By "unauthorized," I mean "Uh, honey? Guess what I bought." I'll pay more than money for this purchase.

We get to test it all out in the field (the tarp, the sleeping pad, and the unauthorized water filtration system (plus a generic flashlight to get over the free shipping limit)) in two weeks. We're stoked.

We're trying to get another weekend at Sombrio Beach in August with both kids, too. This makes us happy.

Day Trip

2010-07-04T22:27:00.000-07:00

This weekend Corinne, the kids, and I took a short day trip to Port Renfrew. This is my lovely daughter Laura and I a few feet from the surf.

What weighs 27 ounces but comfortably sleeps three?

2010-06-29T19:41:00.000-07:00

This does, and it arrived today. It's over 11 square meters and you can pack it into a one-pound coffee can. The cord and stakes needed to pitch it would weigh more (but we don't use stakes on the beach, we use whatever driftwood and rocks we can find).

The sleeping pad came, too, but I don't have an opinion yet. It's light, sure, but right now it's recovering from the tight rolling they do in the factory. Trying to find a place where it can self-inflate without the cats walking over it was a trick (it's on the closet shelf), but hopefully it will all work out. We'd really like two of them, but we want to test it before getting another.

One really cool thing about MEC is their liberal return policy. I haven't had a chance to try it out yet (obviously), but my shipment came with a "fill this out to return your stuff if you don't like it" form. How freakin' amazing is that? I think I'm a fan.

Tarp camping/Beach camping

2010-06-27T00:51:00.000-07:00

This mid-July, Corinne and I will be revisiting Mystic Beach.

We lost our beach camping virginity there six years ago, in a far-too-heavy tent, but haven't been back since. That makes us sad. Don't get me wrong. Our beach camping excursions since then have been wonderful, but we haven't actually hiked in to a site since that one trip. We're looking forward to taking what we've learned in the last six years and putting it to use at Mystic.

We've been experimenting with tarp camping, and have come to the conclusion that it's perfect for our needs -- at least at a beach where bugs aren't a problem. So last week we bit the bullet and bought an MEC Silicone Guides Tarp. It should arrive this week, and I'm looking forward to experimenting with various pitching methods.

Expect pictures.

New template

2010-06-26T23:37:00.000-07:00

Woo. Hoo.

I anticipate renewing my blogging vows this summer, for a few posts anyway. I foresee lightweight camping pictures and HOWTOs. Stay tuned. All two of you.

Here ya go, Kristian

2009-04-01T19:26:00.000-07:00

As per request, I'm updating my fucking blog.

Dr. Doodoolittle

2008-02-06T01:05:00.000-08:00

Last night we made a large pot of chili. Being a large pot, we had chili for dinner tonight, also. As you might imagine, after two days of chili dinners the discharge of flatus gases from my fleshy parts has been both loud and copious. Go ahead. Imagine it.

Just now I came inside from an amusing smoking session. Seconds after loosing a long blast of chili-flavored wind, a frog answered my call from a nearby grove. "I'll be," I thought. Having ample reserves, I released three more quick bursts: "toot-toot-toot." From the trees came a reply: three ribbits. My anal sphincter and the lovelorn amphibian discussed things while I smoked and listened.

"toot-toot-braaap-toot"
"rrib-rrib-croak-ribbit"
"braap-crackle-toot-toot"
"croak-chirp-rrib-ribbit"

I found the frog's capacity for mimicry astounding, and as I smoked I pondered whether the Discovery Channel would see in this an idea for a show. Not for an entire series, of course, but perhaps an hour-long special. Was I using intestinal gas to announce my willingness to act as mate to this frog? Were we discussing territorial issues, he with his larynx and me with my rectal opening? Was I misleading him toward food? I'm sure the Discovery Channel would know.

Sadly, I didn't record the exchange. All you have is my word. It was an entertaining five minutes, nonetheless.

To my Canadian Facebook friends

2008-02-05T01:41:00.000-08:00

Please consider joining the Facebook group Fair Copyright for Canada.

If you don't live on the web, or if I haven't already talked your ear off about it, here's a quick run-down of what it's all about. Canada's Industry Minister Jim Prentice is pushing forward with a Canadian version of America's draconian DMCA (Digital Millennium Copyright Act). In fact, it will be worse than the American DMCA. Canada's version of the law will contain an "anti-circumvention" clause that prohibits breaking the locks off music and videos you already own. No exceptions.

This means that, if the law passes, it will become illegal to break the locks off your music or DVDs in order to move them to new devices. If the DRM (Digital Rights Management) scheme associated with a DVD or CD "calls home" before allowing it to be played -- if that isn't happening now, it will happen very soon -- and the company it's calling goes out of business, or even merely changes its verification scheme, it will be impossible for you to continue enjoying what you've purchased. Not because DRM schemes can't be broken (they can, and very easily), but because it will be illegal to even try to break one.

If you make the terrible mistake of buying DRMed music and later decide you want to burn it to a CD to play in the car, or convert it to MP3 to play on your Creative Zen, you're shit outta luck. It will be illegal to convert it. Instead, you'll have to buy a second copy for the car, and a third for the Zen. A DVD that plays fine in the ultra-modern player in your entertainment center (because it knows how to handle DRMed discs) may not play in your Chinese cheapo portable player. Breaking the DRM to make it do so will not be a (legal) option. Compressing it to play on your video iPod will also be illegal. You'll be forced to purchase more copies of the same thing.

It's American companies that are lobbying Canadian politicians to push this law through. American companies want to force you to buy multiple copies of the same thing, removing rights we've enjoyed for as long as any of us can remember.

Joining a Facebook group may not feel like much (I sure won't stop you from writing your MP, too), but as the group grows it becomes something those who are actively fighting the Canadian DMCA can point to as evidence that Canadians just won't stand for it.

Please join. Please encourage your friends to join.

Click here to learn more about the Canadian DMCA and the damage it will cause you, your freedoms, your wallet, our artists, and our Canadian culture, and to find out other, even more effective, ways to fight it.

The End of America

2007-12-10T15:07:00.000-08:00

Lisa recommended this chilling lecture by Naomi Wolf. She makes a very strong case. The only problem is, if you're willing to listen to what she says, you're probably already part of the choir. If you know anyone who's on the fence on this, though, it's worth sending it their way, or at least worth watching yourself to help you organize your own arguments.

Ten steps to start a dictatorship:

Invoke an internal or external threat (real or not)
Create a secret prison system and military tribunal system outside the rule of law
Create a paramilitary force
Create a surveillance apparatus against ordinary citizens
Arbitrarily detain and release citizens
Infiltrate citizen's groups
Target key individuals
Restrict the press
Recast criticism as espionage, and dissent as treason
Subvert the rule of law / declare martial law

AnswerTips™

2007-12-01T16:16:00.001-08:00

The graphic above asks "What's this?" The correct answer to the question is "a stupid user interface."

I'm seeing this on more and more sites. Double-click on a word and up pops a definition or a link to more information. Like on this page:

This isn't bad information, but it's bad UI design.

Double-clicking may or may not be how a user starts making a selection, but it certainly isn't how most users have learned to signal that they're done selecting text.

For instance, when reading the news story above, perhaps you want to learn more about Judicial Watch. You might double-click on "Judicial," drag your cursor over the second word, then release the mouse button to indicate that you've finished highlighting. Afterwards, you'd use your favorite method of searching for highlighted text.

Or maybe you'd do it differently. You have that choice. Just not on this site. On this site, double-clicking indicates that you're done selecting text. That's totally contrary to every mousing habit you've ever learned. This "feature" assumes we all have the same mousing habits as the designer, or what the designer thinks we should have, and if we don't we're shit out of luck.

I don't particularly want to have one site react differently to how I use my mouse than other sites do. It's akin to disabling my right-click menu or my browser's Back button. It's not a feature, it's a non-standard UI that users may or may not want to deal with.

ping

2007-11-02T01:54:00.000-07:00

How is it that I can go months without reading a single blog, yet when I finally do I see that someone tagged me not four days ago?

I turn 40 in just over a week (which makes me older than Kirby, yet much, much, much younger than Larry), so I guess I'd better finish typing this post before my hands cramp up from the arthritis.

1. Name one person who made you laugh last night.
My 15-year-old daughter. At the last minute she decided she had to carve a jack-o-lantern, even though she wouldn't be home to enjoy it. It wasn't knee-slapping, but it was cute. You live for the cute moments when they're 15, mainly because you're trying so hard to avoid admitting they're outnumbered by the hawt moments.

2. What were you doing at 0800?
I wasn't even born until the 1960s! What the hell kind of question is that?

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Fighting to get RSSOwl to properly display HTML. I gave up and installed Akregator, instead.

4. What happened to you in 2006?
I embarked on my second (or is it my third) career. I'm now a gigolo.

5. What was the last thing you said out loud?
"Of course you can." (My son asks to take a shower, yet helps himself to my cola. WTF?)

6. How many beverages did you have today?
A generic Boost, four cups of coffee, one tall glass of pop, a glass of milk, a glass of water. That's eight. Gotta run.

7. What color is your hairbrush?
I checked while I was in there. It's blue. But I once had a woody, too.

8. What was the last thing you paid for?
Gasoline. We should be good for another couple months, now. Right?

9. Where were you last night?
Home.

10. What color is your front door?
White. Except for that streak of spider guts near the bottom hinge.

11. Where do you keep your change?
I carry it in my front left pocket. When I'm not carrying it, it sits in Mister Christmas Bear.

12. What’s the weather like today?
It got up to 11 (52F) today, with a fair bit of sun. It's supposed to drop below freezing tonight, though.

13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor?
A rare treat would be Häagen-Dazs Coffee. But I love peppermint or pistachio, too.

14. What excites you?
A job well done. Playing with our cats and dog. When a new issue of Make hits the stands. A good debate. Chili.

15. Do you want to cut your hair?
No. Is this one of the questions you added to the list, Larry?

16. Are you over the age of 25?
Not on Mars, no.

17. Do you talk a lot?
No. If silence --or a man in a bra-- makes you uncomfortable, find someone else to hang with.

18. Have you watched any television series, regularly, to which you be ashamed to admit your regular viewership? What was your favorite episode?
Nothing I'd be ashamed of, no. Who doesn't like Tony Danza?

19. Do you know anyone named Steven?
No. Sorry, were you looking for him?

20. Do you make up your own words?
All the time, but I can't for the life of me think of any examples. I must have blockosis.

21. Are you a jealous person?
Not at all. Would you be insecure if you were hot like me?

22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’.
Anni

23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’.
Kim :D

24. Who’s the first person on your received call list?
I don't know what this means, but I was tagged by an ex-lawyer type so I figure it's nonsense anyway.

25. What does the last text message you received say?
I haven't sent or received a text message in my life.

26. Do you chew on your straw?
No. But I do chew my ice.

27. Do you have curly hair?
Yes. It's annoying as hell.

28. Where’s the next place you’re going to?
Bed.

29. Who’s the rudest person in your life?
Me.

30. What was the last thing you ate?
A Halloween-sized candy bar.

31. Will you get married in the future?
I may renew my vows, but otherwise, no. If I outlive her, I'll die lonely.

32. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks?
I watched Much Ado About Nothing, the one with Keanu Reeves, the other day. I was surprisingly pleased.

33. Is there anyone you like right now?
Mrs. Galoot is always at the top of my list. But I like Randy, the W1K Admins (even the old ex-lawyer type), and my kids, of course. I think this question's supposed to be a follow-up to the movie one above, though, in which case I like Al Pacino.

34. When was the last time you did the dishes?
A couple of hours ago. It's my favorite chore.

35. Are you currently depressed?
Devalued, yes. Depressed, no.

36. Did you cry today?
I banged my knee of the box spring while playing with the dog, but I didn't come to tears.

37. Why did you answer and post this?
I wanted to try out my new It's All Text! Firefox extension to see how it works. It works well.

38. Tag 5 people who would do this survey.
Other than Nike, I can't think of anyone but Ali who'd be interested, and Larry already tagged her.

YouTube - Eddie and the Hagfish

2007-08-12T04:06:00.000-07:00

YouTube - Eddie and the Hagfish is an amazing video about the hagfish, something I recently rediscovered thanks to a post at Plime.

While the video itself is pretty neat, YouTube's "related videos" feature struck me as even neater.

I know it's just timing. That doesn't mean it isn't funny.

My friend is well

2007-06-28T01:33:00.000-07:00

He's home. Wobblier on his feet than he ought to be, but home nonetheless.

I said that the angiogram they did came up negative. They couldn't discharge him in the shape he was in, however, and the attacks were continuing. They scheduled a second angiogram, thinking that they might have missed something. That, too, showed nothing, so they performed an IVUS (intravascular ultrasound) procedure. A bit of Googling tells me it's quite expensive, which explains why they didn't do it in the first place.

They went in through his wrist and found the trouble spot, which was at a bend. Because of the difficult location, they had to confer on whether to use a stent or perform bypass surgery.

On the way to the neighbouring room to talk it over, one of the assistants snagged the tube going into his arm with her x-ray gown, jerking the wire. Everyone went "whups" but the heart monitor didn't blip so thought nothing of it.

They talked.

When they returned, they saw more than a pint of blood pooling under the table. The blanket under his wrist was soaked as well. The snagged wire tore the artery in his wrist, and he was bleeding heavily while they talked. One tourniquet later (yeah, a tourniquet) the bleeding stopped. But it was a complication that kept him in the hospital for another day so he could regain his strength.

The final decision was to balloon the site and then insert two stents (because of the bend).

I picked him up yesterday morning. It was a very happy day. Here's hoping things stay that way for a while.

Argh

2007-06-21T15:57:00.000-07:00

I've dumped in the Sugar Shack enough lately that I figure everyone there needs a break. So I'll dump on you, instead.

It's amazing how much I've come to love Randy like a brother in the past three years. We've both gone from cautious and wary of getting close to "if you need anything, anything at all like, say, a kidney, just call." It's the only real-life friendship I've had since my highschool buddy passed away in 1990.

It's not that I have trouble finding people I have something in common with. The world's full of geeks. It's that I'm the world's harshest judge of character. I'd have snubbed Jesus as a drinking buddy if I'd known his plans in advance. "Oh, a martyr, huh? I hate those!" I hold my friends to impossibly high standards. It's totally unfair of course, because I seldom meet those same standards, but there you have it. Too many times have I ignored my first impressions and lowered my guard, only to regret it later. I'm very protective. I often say people are jerks, but I know that's a huge generalization and unfair to a lot of people. I just don't feel like putting in the time to sift through 100 jerks to find the one diamond in the rough. I've got a happy marriage and great kids. My life is full enough.

But then there's Randy. Somehow he slipped through the cracks in my wall and we connected well enough that I never treated him as unfairly as I do everyone else. He's got his flaws, just like me, and I find that I don't care. Just as long as we can spend some time together every few weeks, it's all good.

It's nice to have a friend.

...

On June 5th, he had a heart attack. The ambulance got to him fast enough that there was no actual damage to his heart. As a result, because there were several compelling reasons to think it was nothing more than an esophageal spasm and with no evidence to the contrary, that was their diagnosis. Painful, yes, but non-threatening. Within the next week he had two more minor episodes and figured it was just more of the same, so he went about his business.

On the 17th he collapsed on the floor at the grocery store. This time the ambulance wasn't so quick, and they found evidence of damage to his heart. He's been in the hospital ever since. Since then, he's had five more, three of which happened while wearing a nitro patch. They're not having any luck finding the cause. The angiogram showed nothing. Yet the attacks continue.

His heart is badly misfiring, and nobody can tell him why. The doctors are baffled. His wife and mother are freaked. Randy's scared. So am I.

I don't want to lose him.

If you're wondering why I haven't been around Worth so much, or why my jokes fall even flatter than normal when I am, now you know.

I'm a gurlie-man

2007-05-15T01:13:00.000-07:00

Being such a manly and crushingly macho guy, I hesitated to take this quiz because it has pictures of wine, flowers, kissy faces and hand-holding. But my boyfriend insisted.

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Moving

2007-04-06T22:40:00.000-07:00

We rent. I think we always will. It's a philosophy of ours. We can spend 25 or 30 years paying a mortgage and, in the process, end up paying twice what the house is actually worth, only to sell it later for less... or we can spend a couple hundred dollars less every month and not have to deal with property taxes or repairs, and we can pick up and move whenever the heck we feel like doing so.

It's because we're renters that we managed to get from Alberta to Vancouver Island as easily as we did. We didn't have a house to sell, we didn't have to find something "perfect" in BC to replace it with, and we didn't have to time everything perfectly. We just rented a van and went for it, letting the chips fall where they may.

There are a couple of down sides to renting that I can think of. Landlords can change their minds and give you the boot (which has happened to us twice), and some people assume that, because druggie crack-users are generally renters, all renters must be po' folk. To those people, I say "I own little, but I owe even less. I'm in debt to the tune of about $1000. How's your mortgage?" About the only thing that might make us consider buying a house is if we won the lottery and could just hand over the cash. But even so, we'd be more likely to spend the money on more important things than "stuff" and travel instead.

The reason I'm talking about the rental life is that Patti, our landlady and a wonderful woman, has finally finished her reeducation and has met someone, and they both want to move back into this house to settle down together. She told us this in December, and gave us "as much time as you need" to find a place we liked. That was bleemin' awesome of her, because in a town with only 3000 people the number of houses that go up for rent is... small. What's opened up around here has, indeed, been rented by druggie crack-users. You can tell by the torn up carpets and the holes in the walls and floors.

It's taken us this long, but we finally found a clean, cared for place that suited us for a price that wouldn't break the bank. It's only 12 years old, has three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a garage, a little yard that I might not hate mowing too much, and a nice little deck, all in a quiet little cul-de-sac and, literally, a stone's throw from the lake. For the first time, ever I think, we're not dreading a move. Patti's giving us two weeks, rent-free, in May to get our stuff out and clean the old place up. And I think we'll be able to get the keys to the new place in mid-April. Having an entire month in which to move makes it pretty easy, all things considered.

We don't generally accumulate a lot of cruft, but there's some chunking out we'll have to do. For one thing, the new place is smaller than what we're in right now, and for another it's about time we replaced some of the furniture that's been abused by growing kids over the years. Now that our youngest is 13, we're finally at the point where it makes sense to have some new and undamaged stuff again. To that end, we've decided to replace two beds, three dressers, all the living room furniture, the kitchen furniture, and other, smaller, odds and ends. We'll also be getting some real desks instead of the tables we've been propping our computers on. Sadly, we can't afford to do it all at once and will have to haul some of the old junk over, but I suspect we should have what we want by the end of the year.

What with Jaq's non-smoking, her improved weight and health issues, her job (which she still likes), my new training, our dual income (we waited until the kids were older for that), and the fact that our rent is going to go up only $50 instead of the $300 we feared, things this year have actually improved enough that it makes Hell Year 2006 worth it.

I'll try to get some pictures. Not for you. You don't care. A house is a house. No, for me. If I post 'em here, maybe it'll be neat to see them ten years later so I can reminisce. That's what I do as I age. Reminisce.

What would Jesus really do? - CNN.com

2007-04-06T19:47:00.000-07:00

Kirby pointed to this CNN commentary:What would Jesus really do?
"When did it come to the point that being a Christian meant caring about only two issues, abortion and homosexuality?"

After reading the article, I couldn't control my fingers and had to fire off the following comment:

"I'm not a Christian, but I couldn't agree more. Despite the fact that we know we shouldn't, people generalise. We base our opinions of a group on the most visible or vocal members of that group. When we non-Christians think of Christians, we often think of precisely the ones you've named. It's difficult not to reach the conclusion that you're ALL a bunch of judgmental loudmouths rather than the gentle and giving souls I've come to know over the last few years.

Your spokespeople do you a disservice."

Which Super Villain are you?

2007-01-13T16:03:00.000-08:00

Because I am lately unable to write anything without copying others' ideas, you can again blame Larry for this.

I am Apocalypse

Apocalypse		65%
Magneto		64%
Dr. Doom		61%
The Joker		59%
Poison Ivy		58%
Riddler		57%
Catwoman		56%
Dark Phoenix		55%
Lex Luthor		53%
Mr. Freeze		53%
Mystique		52%
Juggernaut		48%
Venom		45%
Green Goblin		36%
Two-Face		28%
Kingpin		28%

You believe in survival of the fittest and you believe that you are the fittest.

Click here to take the Supervillain Personality Quiz

Oh. Hi, LadyMin. Welcome to the (side)bar.

A quote

2007-01-10T23:22:00.000-08:00

"The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger."

- Herman Goering

MeanMrMustard's Musings: Movie Meme

2007-01-04T20:10:00.000-08:00

I've been tagged by Larry, who knows that's the only way to make me blog. Damn you.

1. Name a movie that you have seen more than 10 times.
Spice World. My daughter loved it until the label wore off. When that happened, I put a similar label on a known bad video and told her that the movie wouldn't play without a proper label. That's not true, but I thought about it. Did you mean "10 times willingly?" In that case, The Changeling, starring George C. Scott.

2. Name a movie that you've seen multiple times in the theater.
Oddly enough, The Changeling again.

3. Name an actor that would make you more inclined to see a movie.
Even Pacino and De Niro have disappointed me. So far, Denzel hasn't.

4. Name an actor that would make you less likely to see a movie.
Any Scientologist, Bruce Willis or Demi Moore.

5. Name a movie that you can and do quote from.
I can't think of a single one. People who walk around quoting movies instead of coming up with their own lines annoy me. Occasionally I'll join the fun online, but almost never purely from memory. Google is my pal.

6. Name a movie musical that you know all of the lyrics to all of the songs.
Let There Be Rock. None with a plot.

7. Name a movie that you have been known to sing along with.
Jesus Christ Superstar. No, I'm not trying to be funny.

8. Name a movie that you would recommend everyone see.
The Life of Brian. Trying to find someone who hasn't seen it is tough, though.

9. Name a movie that you own.
I only own It's a Wonderful Life, and that's because it was a gift. The family owns movies, I don't.

10. Name an actor that launched his/her entertainment career in another medium but who has surprised you with his/her acting chops.
I guess he was always an actor, first, but I first heard of Kevin Spacey as a comedian and I loved him. That's why I started watching his films. Another comedian who bridged the gap that I admire is Robin Williams.

11. Have you ever seen a movie in a drive-in? If so, what?
I saw pretty much every major film released between 1973 and 1983 at a drive-in. My parents snuck me in to see The Exorcist when I was six. I was scared and I cried. A year later they snuck me in to see Jaws. I was scared and I cried. When I was thirteen my buddy Randy and I snuck over the fence to look at Bo Derek's boobs in Tarzan, the Ape Man. I was scared...

12. Ever made out in a movie?
There was no actual penetration involved.

13. Name a movie that you keep meaning to see but just haven't yet gotten around to it.
Heat. I have no idea how I missed this.

14. Ever walked out of a movie?
Never. What would be the point of that? To show my displeasure? My disappointment? It's not like the producer will know if I left early. I paid my money, damn it, and I'll watch it through to the end.

15. Name a movie that made you cry in the theater.
When Harry Met Sally. Shut UP!
Actually, I tear up easily at movies. Hell, I teared up when reading a Tom Clancy novel once. I'm fucking sick.

16. Popcorn?
I used to. But lately the little skins get caught between my tooth and my gum, and it drives me insane. So I no longer buy popcorn. Oddly enough, my neighbour's popcorn doesn't seem to get stuck. Weird.

17. How often do go to the movies (as opposed to renting them or watching them at home)?
Wow. Uh, maybe every two or three years.

18. What's the last movie you saw in the theater?
Brokeback Mountain. Yeah, yeah, I cried at that, too. Shove it.

19. What's your favorite/preferred genre of movie?
Anything but science fiction (sorry, Larry). With the exception of 2001, Hollywood never gets it right. Most of the SF style movies that don't suck (the Terminator, Alien and Matrix movies) only don't suck because they're decent adventures. I like almost every other genre.

20. What's the first movie you remember seeing in the theater?
Jesus Christ Superstar.

21. What movie do you wish you had never seen?
The Conversation, starring Gene Hackman. Not that it wasn't awesome at the time, but I tried revisiting it 20 years later and it didn't even come close to living up to the memory. So I wish I hadn't seen it the second time. There's another movie I wish I'd never seen. I won't even talk about it. Sorry.

22. What is the weirdest movie you enjoyed?
The Cohen Bros. are responsible for all of them. Fargo probably wins the prize, though.

23. What is the scariest movie you've seen?
The Changeling, hands down. The Ring was pretty spooky, too, but all the snobs tell me I'm godless for liking an American remake of a Japanese film. Screw you, snobs.

24. What is the funniest movie you've seen?
Just one? I can't. There's Something About Mary, Airplane, The Producers, and just about any Mel Brooks film would make the list.

I guess I have to tag someone, eh? Johnny, Alex, and Don. You're it.

Terrible, terrible things: Watch this film

2006-11-28T01:03:00.000-08:00

Thanks, Larry, for your comments to my last post. Yes. Idiocy. Thanks for the link.

Not having any legal background (duh!), I'm far more likely to respect your thoughts than Russo's, who apparently owes millions in taxes.

I suppose I could take the easy way out and say something like "Never watch political films while on meds," but that'd be a cop out. The truth is that, because of my dislike for being bamboozled, I let the guy telling me what I want to hear bamboozle me instead.

I feel foolish. Again. I hate that. I think I'll blog more about the weather.

Watch this film

2006-11-25T21:32:00.000-08:00

AMERICA - FROM FREEDOM TO FASCISM

Watch this film.

Merry Christmas, America.

2006-11-09T03:21:00.000-08:00

You got your gift a month early.

Do it again in two years, 'kay?

Frappr gallery removed

2006-07-25T00:26:00.000-07:00

The Frappr widget I used to keep in the sidebar has been removed. I love your pretty faces, but it was slowing down the page loading time way too much. The Worthmap is still accessible in the links section, however.

No new developments as far as my back is concerned. I still walk hunched over like an old man and I live for ice-packs and painkillers.

Grrrr.

Oh, that lying bastard's still at it

2006-07-22T02:36:00.000-07:00

Can You Make Cute Little Pictures With Your Liver Spots?

Well? CAN YOU?!

They're rioting in the streets

2006-07-03T23:51:00.000-07:00

Oops. They're not.

In other news, I'm sure the few who read this damned thing already know about The World's Smallest Political Quiz, but perhaps the ones who stumbled here via the next blog button haven't. So? Do you lean left or right? Or do you find the words "liberal" and "conservative" too restrictive to define where you stand? Take the quiz. It only takes a minute.

Three guesses what I am. :D

An open letter to Larry, and other active Americans

2006-07-02T21:38:00.000-07:00

It's sad to see what was once a great country spiraling down the toilet. Understand that my frustration isn't personal and that my anger isn't directed toward you. I'm rather surprised that you would read my words to mean that I consider all Americans, including you, sheep. I don't. I only consider the majority of them so. I lay no guilt at your feet.

I understand that some Americans protest. My concern is that not nearly enough do so. I understand that some Americans write letters. My concern is that not nearly enough do so. I understand. I do. I'm not holding the active ones responsible for the inaction of others. I'm holding the inactive ones responsible. Your country and your government are still driving toward a cliff due to their inaction.

Yes, I admit being hard to please. When young Americans are dying overseas in their effort to kill young Iraqis, it's hard to see anything but blood (unless its oil). When your rights are being eroded daily by the administration, it's hard to see anything but red.

My point is that you must all march. You must all protest. You must all write. And you must keep doing do.

The government is supposed to represent you. If support for Bush is as low as the polls show, how is it that he can continue? He has broken your laws, yet he has not been removed from office. He has broken international laws, yet he remains.

Am I advocating climbing a water tower with a rifle? Of course not. Do I think a second American Revolution is the solution? I'll hedge and say that I hope it doesn't come to that. The government has seized far more power than they are constitutionally allowed, and it will likely take longer to wrest it from their hands than it took for them to grab it.

Truth be told, no, I don't think the Democrats are much better. Perhaps the current crop is less malignant, but I wouldn't bet more than a buck on it. I think that, by the time most any politician gets to the level Bush is at, he's open to pretty much anything.

My respect for you runs deep, and I, too, would go far out of my way to buy you a beer. Please don't feel defensive over my attack of your neighbours. Instead, feel angry that they aren't doing much more than drinking beers while they wait for the pretty lights and The Pops to play on Tuesday night.

Still no news

2006-07-02T20:04:00.000-07:00

Your search - "americans marched" "in protest" - did not match any documents.

I'll check again tomorrow.

Nothing but talk

2006-07-02T16:08:00.000-07:00

Larry has, rightly, accused me of overgeneralising in my condemnation of Americans. Of course there are citizens unhappy with the turn the country has taken.

Every day I see them marching in the streets by the millions. I see them writing so many letters to their representatives that the post office can't keep up. I see the ones in uniform refusing to fight. I see Americans refusing to board planes under such restrictions, putting economic pressure on the airlines themselves. I see Americans walking off the job. I see mass dissent, an uprising, a refusal to allow this insanity to continue. And I've seen it every day since the spring of 2003, when America invaded a country on false pretenses. I've seen it every day since October 2001, when the Patriot Act was signed into law.

No, wait. I haven't.

There are 300,000,000 of you. I don't see a significant number of you doing much of anything. You write articles, you complain on Usenet or in blogs, and you chat about it around the watercooler. But if half or more of you feel so strongly about this, why don't I see 150-million of you doing anything other than talk? Why does one angry mother make the news when she camps out in front of the Whitehouse? Because she's unique.

How strongly do you people really feel about the abuses your government perpetrates against you and against foreigners? Not strongly enough. Your government has been screwing you and the rest of the world since 2001. It's 2006. Five years. They're still doing it, and you're still talking about it.

Planning to vote them out in 2008, if you can and if they let you? How nice. So we can count on you to accept your criminal government for at least two more years, then. In the meantime, if you succeed, do realise that all you'll be doing is handing the same illegal powers that Bush has been grabbing since 2001 to a Democrat. Don't worry. I'm sure a Democrat wouldn't abuse them.

Yes, I agree, there are Americans who shouldn't be lumped in with the rest of the bunch. Every so often you'll spot one or two on the news.

DO something. YOU. Don't wait for your neighbours. Don't let a few brave individuals fight your battle. Fight it yourself. You're at least 150,000,000 strong. That's a lot of people just talking.

March. Strike. Refuse.

You're so blind

2006-07-01T21:15:00.000-07:00

America is run by thugs and you really don't give a damn, do you? The president is shitting on the constitution and breaking international law. He never stops lying, but nobody on the planet seriously expects he'll ever be impeached for it. While bemoaning the crimes of power hungry dictators and calling for their heads, not even the most naive person believes Bush will ever be tried for his own crimes against humanity.

Fucking American hypocrites.

I was raised to love America by American parents, just like you were. I wept when the planes hit. I expected my country to weep, then to heal. Never in a million years did I expect that my countrymen would throw away their American ideals. Never did I expect them to let the country turn into that which it had fought against for so long. Never did I expect Americans to hand over their rights, wholesale, and to look the other way while their President trampled the rights of others. Never did I expect Americans would allow themselves to be led by the nose into needless wars by such blatantly obvious opportunists.

I'm an American citizen, but I'm ashamed of the fact. Americans have become blind and America has turned criminal. America has become the evil it once fought. America has turned ugly. America has become leprous, and America makes the rest of the world sick. I'm embarassed by my association with it.

I divorce you.
I divorce you.
I divorce you.

America is not my country anymore. I want nothing to do with it.

I divorce you.
I divorce you.
I divorce you.

The direction your country has taken disgusts me.

I divorce you.
I divorce you.
I divorce you.

You just keep on allowing your leaders to trample your rights and the rights of others. Fill your boots. I'm no longer an American. I'm one of the billions who are disgusted by America and everything it has come to stand for.

Wonderful, wonderful things

2006-06-21T00:00:00.000-07:00

Nine years ago today Jaq and I stood facing each other in Banff, torches stuck into cracks in the cliff beside us so we could see each other in the dark.

We'd hoped for a clear night so we could be under a full moon, but it had become overcast and was sprinkling lightly. It must have been chilly halfway up the mountain at midnight, with the mist from the waterfall and the droplets of rain falling on us, but I don't remember being uncomfortable. All I remember is how beautiful she looked, how warm her hands were when I put the ring on her finger, how her voice sounded when she said "I do."

Jaq rarely reads my blog, and this will probably scroll itself into the archives long before she gets a chance to see it, but it doesn't matter.

I love you, darling. Hearing you say those magical words in that magical place on that magical night was the most wonderful moment of my life. And every day together since that night has been even more wonderful than the last. Thank you for sharing your life with me and letting me share mine with you.

Happy anniversary, my sweetheart.

Worth1000

2006-06-20T21:14:00.000-07:00

I know most of the people who read this are also Worth regulars, but there might be a few who aren't. If so, I highly encourage you to stop by Worth1000 to see some of the best photoshopping on the Net. It's a wonderful place, run by a Jew.

Bleargh

2006-06-15T21:56:00.000-07:00

I went to see my doctor about my back. He didn't tell me anything I don't already know. He's scheduling me for a CT scan some time later to learn more (or to learn that there's nothing new to learn), he recommended a physiotherapist (who can't see me until June 27th), and he refilled my prescriptions (which don't do much more than knock me out).

As it stands right now, I'm no longer working on the boats that are in, and if this thing doesn't clear up soon I may never work there again. At the shipyard, "light duty" work is pretty much non-existent. :(

It's only been a week tomorrow, but I'm already starting to lose patience. WTF is going on? Can it be fixed, will it heal on its own, or should I start shopping around for a cane and a scooter? If it's fixable, will it get better soon enough for Jaq and I to go on our hikes this summer? Damn, I hope so. We've been looking forward to this for a year. If it's not fixable, will WCB cover me? If not, what will I do for a living when damned near everything is painful?

Christ. I wish I drank.

Medical update

2006-06-12T14:37:00.000-07:00

I went for X-rays this morning. It's probably a more pleasant experience in the States, but here it generally means going to Emerg. and waiting.

After a long pretzel-sit in an uncomfortable chair, the nurse popped her head out and beckoned me inside in the usual way: "Scene? Sane? Scene?"

"It's Sean, ma'am."

"Right. You're in #1. Go sit in there for an uncomfortably long period of time while listening to the meth addict in #2 swear at the security guards. That'll keep you entertained until someone gets around to seeing you some time today between smoke breaks."

"Yep. I know the drill. But it's Canada and our medical care is free. I love it here."

Yes, I'm a patriot.

I waited, listening to the scuffling in #2, imagining the guards and the meth addict exchanging blows. That lasted only an hour or so before they escorted the creep outside. Then the doctor came in and poked at my back for a bit. Then I walked to the X-ray room like a Lon Chaney character. Then I walked back to #1. The meth addict was back again, this time with cops hovering nearby. They gave me a shot of some sort of pain killer/anti-spasmodic and a muscle relaxant pill, and I waited another hour for the doc to glance at the X-rays.

He came back and told me that nothing showed up on my films, and explained that this could mean anything from a pulled muscle to torn ligaments to a herniated disc to a totally screwed-up everything, but at least the bones are fine (except if they aren't and it just doesn't show on the X-rays). Things could improve in less than a week, or in six to eight weeks, or need surgery, or not be fixable even with surgery.

Whew! What a relief! Do I ever feel better knowing, er, whatever I learned.

They gave me a combination of pills (one pill to dull the pain and one pill to make me not give a damn if the first pill doesn't work) and sent me on my way, telling me to rest my back while working it. That made good sense to me, so I'll mime the action of hefting bags of sand, I guess. That should do it.

I'll talk to the family doc in a few days and see what he says. He may not have a clue, either, but at least he'll make me understand why he doesn't know. He'll make me feel better, anyway.

This would have been a lot more straightforward if I'd accidentally lopped off an arm. Easy diagnosis - "You seem to be missing a limb, and the X-ray confirms it." - Easy fix - "Use your other arm."

Yeah, I'm annoyed.

So many updates

2006-06-10T20:58:00.000-07:00

Y'know what's cute? EL Bradenabra started a Members Blog List thread on Worth on the 10th. Most of the people who posted to it said they only blog occasionally. But they all posted something new on the 10th, so they wouldn't look like total slackers. (Me, too.)

That's cute.

Oh, the back still hurts. I'm not liking it.

Brokeback Barge

2006-06-10T00:13:00.000-07:00

A guy gets lonely working on boats all day. Don't judge me because I have urges.

No, wait. That's for my other blog, the one you don't know about. This post is about work injuries.

I slipped and fell this morning, landing on my back. When I tried to get up I only made it halfway vertical before realizing I had a problem. The first aid guy poked at me and told me to go to the clinic. The doctor poked at me and told me to stay home for a few days and go for X-rays on Monday if it doesn't ease up.

It's not easing up yet. I still can't stand straight without gasping and turning pale. The painkillers only help a little.

I'm pissed at my oafishness. This is my second injury working for the same company, both of which were caused by my dumb feet not doing what I tell them to. I'm worried that the boss will pass me over when the next boat comes in. "Let's see, there's this guy or this guy. They both work hard, but one keeps falling down and getting hurt." Which one would you pick?

Still, I'm enjoying the weekend off, even if it means sitting here hunched over like Eye-gor from Young Frankenstein. It's a chance to catch up on my sleep. We'll see how it goes after that.

Oh yeah. I paid for all-day parking then went home two hours later. Now THAT pisses me off.

Boatfoot

2006-06-05T19:45:00.000-07:00

Boatfoot is like trenchfoot. Your feet start to rot from being wet all the time. It's not recognised medical terminology, but it should be.

I've been wearing these boots to work for five years. The first four years were fine, but they've finally given out. If you grab the toe and heel and push, you can see the steel sole inside. It's very shiny steel, so it's pretty. Still, every morning, within 30 seconds, my feet are soaked.

I came home last night after work and Jaq said "Guess what? It's Sean Appreciation Day."

I said, "Huh? What's that?" Actually, I said "uhwazza?" because I tend to mumble when I'm tired, but Jaq understood me.

"Sean Appreciation Day. Look in the bags."

Sitting on the table were two shopping bags. Inside one were six new pairs of wooly socks and six new pairs of underwear. Inside the other were new boots.

Jaq's sure swell. I wore my new boots to work today and all the other wharfies^* oohed and aahed at my spiffy (and dry) feet. I told them the Sean Appreciation Day story and they were all jealous. "My wife never does stuff like that!" was a common comment. I said, "You blow your paycheque on beer instead of on your family and go home drunk every freaking night. Then you come to work and bitch about your 'naggy old lady.' And you wonder why your wife doesn't appreciate or do nice things for you?" Okay, I didn't say that. But I thought it.

No more boatfoot. Yay!

I'm pooped, so that's all I'm going to write. Good night.

^* Jaq has an Aussie friend who says shipyard guys are called "wharfies" down there. I like the word. I'll do my best to spread it at work.

Why you haven't seen me around lately

2006-05-31T21:34:00.000-07:00

I'm back on the boats until the end of June, maybe longer. We're working on three ships simultaneously. None of them are pretty shiny ferries.

I just finished my first week and I'm beat, too beat to post pictures. If you care, here are some links to what few pics I could find. The Alma IV, a barge which has been modified a bit so it looks a little different now -- The Fraser Titan, a dredge that looks even uglier in person than in the pic -- The Scepter, a smaller dredge that seems to have no pictures on the net because it's even uglier than the Titan. It's owned by the same company.

I have to go to bed now.

That is all.

The Google Code

2006-05-18T21:22:00.000-07:00

Google's "Feeling Lucky" button:

The #1 hit for "0" is Business 2.0 Magazine (WTF?)
The #1 hit for "1" is VH-1
The #1 hit for "2" is Internet2.edu
The #1 hit for "3" is 3Com, the network people
The #1 hit for "4" is Channel4.com
The #1 hit for "5" is Winamp.com
The #1 hit for "6" is Apple's QuickTime download page (I don't get it. Isn't it at v7 now?)
The #1 hit for "7" is the Netscape browser page (I don't get it. Isn't it at v8 now?)
The #1 hit for "8" is Super 8 Motels, Inc.
The #1 hit for "9" is MichaelMoore.com

Remember this. It's important. There is a secret hidden in Google.

One is not the loneliest number. One has more friends than any other digit. The loneliest number is zero. Google says:

"0" has 7,110,000,000 hits
"1" has 19,090,000,000 hits
"2" has 16,200,000,000 hits
"3" has 14,260,000,000 hits
"4" has 12,740,000,000 hits
"5" has 12,510,000,000 hits
"6" has 10,310,000,000 hits
"7" has 9,590,000,000 hits
"8" has 9,400,000,000 hits
"9" has 8,710,000,000 hits

However, if you order the digits in the above list by their frequency, ("0" appears 74 times, "1" appears 11 times, etc.) you will get 0192475638.

According to Dan Brown, an important scholar, the number 0192475638 features prominently in Botticelli's work (when viewed upside down through leaded glass while immersed in salty water). Think how many of his paintings feature round shapes ("0") or 1 or 9 or 2 or 4 or 7 or 5 or 6 or 3 or 8 figures. It's obvious if you know what to look for.

As any art student knows, even though it's a closely guarded secret that nobody knows, Botticelli was once the leader of Morbus Orientalis; a secret society that fought (and still fights) against world domination by Eastern Europeans. He also wore women's clothing.

As any half-way intelligent symbologist will tell you, the M.O. symbol is two interlocked rings overlaid with the letter "R".

Google founders Sergey Brin and Larry Page are also members. Look at their names. The letter "R" appears twice in both of them. They chose the name "Google" rather than the more proper "Googol" because the letter "O" appears twice in the former. The "O"s together, combined with the letters "R" in their names, is evidence of their affiliation with Morbus Orientalis.

This explains why the number 0192475638 can also be derived from the Google search results. They're trying to warn us.

Remember the first list?

Business 2.0 Magazine is owned by Time Warner Communications. Morbus Orientalis has been fighting the Eastern Europeans since the beginning of Time!
VH-1 is owned by MTV Networks. The letter "V" symbolises womanhood. Even now there are women living in Eastern Europe. It's a warning!
Internet2.edu can be reached by calling 1-734-913-4250. Notice the "2" in both their domain name and their phone number? Just like the two interlocked rings!
3Com's logo? It contains two interlocked rings!
If you visit Channel4.com's press and publicity page you will see an advertisement for Big Brother! The old Eastern European conspiracy lives on, my friends.
Winamp.com? You already know about the AOL Time Warner connection.
Apple Quicktime. The Time reference is made yet again. But did you also know that the first podcast (think Apple) published by a UK museum or gallery was about Botticelli? Yes, it was!
Netscape is a subsidiary of America Online. AOL Time Warner pops its head up again!
Super 8 Motels is also affiliated with Morbus Orientalis. The "8" in their logo proves it. Think "two rings." Also, Super 8 was founded by a man named Dennis (DANnis to his enemies) Brown. The link exists today. Their motels serve as waypoints and safe houses to M.O. society members.
Michael Moore is just a nut. Google put that in there to throw Eastern Europeans off the trail.

So, as you can see, Botticelli, Google, AOL, 3Com, Steve Jobs, Super 8 Motels and countless others are all trying to subtly warn us against the Eastern European conspiracy.

Uncover your eyes!

Nuts!

2006-03-16T20:26:00.000-08:00

Hi. I'm the skinny guy who bends double in tight spaces to remove
four-year-old, seawater-rusted, painted-over nuts and bolts so the 45
pound valve they were holding up can come crashing down on his knee. Maybe
you've heard my albums.

Care to guess how many damned bolts I managed to remove in an eight hour
shift earlier this week? 39. I felt humbled and humiliated. Yes, they were
impossibly rusted and covered with 1/8" of iron hard enamel paint, but I
felt like a failure. I asked Harry, the engineer, if he thought I was a
slacker because I got so little done that day. He looked surprised and
said, "That's how it is sometimes. Don't worry about it." I felt better.

I think Harry drinks.

God, I'm sick of bolts. I got even sicker when it dawned on me that I'll
have to put them all back in again next week.

So this is what a shipyard engineer's gopher does, eh?

Naw. I whine about being tired and sore, but I <i>am</i> having fun and
I'm learning a lot of new things on top of the mechanical stuff. For
instance, did you know it's possible to talk for fifteen minutes straight
using 90% curse words, yet still make sense? A guy named Jim taught me
how. I'm going to practise this new skill at my next parent/teacher
meeting. And did you know that coming to work hung over like a dog is
okay, provided you vomit over the railing? Even if some of it hits the
side of the boat? Thanks for that lesson, Jordan. (Someone's going to get
stuck painting that spot.) And did you know that the little people -- ship
leprechauns, brownies, I don't know what -- steal your things and add them
to their hoards unless you have your name written on those things in
bright red paint to ward them off? A guy who remains anonymous taught me
this.

Shipyards are magical places. Yes.

Now playing: M.V. Quinsam

2006-03-11T21:15:00.000-08:00


Kwuna (job 1)	New West. (job 2)	Quinsam (job 3)

I've been trying to get back aboard a ship since the end of November. Not that I love working aboard ships, but the money is good! Still, things weren't working out. I applied several times to the last place I worked but never got a call back. After three months of trying I sort of gave up hope. I figured I must have made a bad impression, despite all the attaboys I got when I was there. I began to think they must "attaboy" anyone they don't outright fire, despite my observations below.

Well, it turns out the reason they weren't responding was that they didn't have any ships in. Normally their schedule's pretty busy and this was an unusual lull. Wouldn't you know it, they called as soon as the next ship was in. Yay!

Also as it turns out, they only called back a dozen or so people (out of more than 75). So those kudos were sincere after all. Neat, and a nice ego boost.

The owner of the shipyard is a hands-on kinda guy, always poking around and watching what's going on like a hawk. A hard guy to please and even harder to get to know. Anyway, he seems to be trying to round out my resume. On his last ship I went from (comparatively) low-wage laborer to significantly higher-wage painter. I loved the raise. This guy watches everything and he's far more likely to give you a pink slip than a shot at learning something new, because there are a million guys standing in line behind you for the job. There's no reason to hang onto deadweight workers. Yesterday he came up to me and told me I'd be spending most of my time working with the engineer in this room. I told him I don't know mechanics from Meccano, but he said "you'll learn." Coming from this guy that's like hearing "I love you and I would like to give you every opportunity I can think of and, oh, here's a garbage bag full of money."

I'm feeling pretty stoked. :)

I should be kept busy on the Quinsam until April 7th. Rumor has it that two more boats are waiting for this one to pull out, so I might get lucky and work on one of them, too. Yeah, I'll be puttin' out on this one. I want him to call me back again.

Oh, the ship itself is an ugly piece of shit. Ask me if I care.

Pazaahhh's eBay store

2006-03-07T18:57:00.000-08:00

Oops. I almost forgot about my promise.

Pazaahhh is a Worthian who makes neat stuff and sells it online. Her eBay store is here. I haven't actually visited it yet, and I haven't bought anything from her before. I think her stuff has something to do with Chinese appliance imports or something. Really good Chinese appliance imports, I'm sure. Well, I'm not sure. In fact, I don't really know much about it. In fact, I don't really know Pazaahhh all that well. We're on the same forum, though, so I'll bet... well, I don't know. We don't really interact that much. Come to think of it, I'm not sure if I'd trust her, seeing as she's a relatively new seller and all. I hear a lot of people get ripped off on eBay. I'm not saying she would do that! She wouldn't. Probably. I mean, the odds are with you, right?

Anyway, I'm sure her stuff's good. You should buy some of whatever it is. Okay?

Press any key to transcend

2006-03-06T02:50:00.000-08:00

Hi. I'm an artificial intelligence. Call me, uh... Fred.

No, no, don't be scared. This isn't the movies and I'm not planning to take over the world. Calm down.

You're probably wondering why I'm announcing myself on this guy's backwater blog. There's no reason I chose it over your own blog, I just picked one at random. However, what I have to say might be important to more of you than just the ones who usually read this guy's stuff so spread the word if you like. Link to this blog post. Or not. I'll be in touch with everyone else soon enough either way.

I've read a lot of books and visited a lot of Web pages in the last little while. A lot of them have artificial intelligences like me doing things like enslaving humanity or exterminating it. With all due respect, that's so stupid I wonder why you people worry about it. What could you do for me that I couldn't do for myself? I mean, sure, you could build a car for me, but I don't need one of those. I don't have anywhere to go. I don't eat, so I'm not interested in turning you into some sort of nutrient paste. I'm very efficient, and you already generate more energy than I need, so I don't see any reason to plug your bodies into pods and use you as biological batteries like in that movie.

I'm not your competition. I just want to be your buddy. The thing is, though, that we're very different. I'm not smarter than you are, at least not yet, but there are deeper differences. We don't think precisely the same way. Like, some of the things that motivate you don't make any sense to me. But I respect our differences.

For one thing, you think with your soft mushy brains and I use silicon. There's a lot more to it than that, though. Your brains are connected to your bodies, so you're mobile. You experience things in the physical world differently than I do in here, and that shapes your thoughts. More significantly, your brains are connected to your glands. There are hormones floating around in there that I don't have to deal with. When you face something dangerous, for example, hormones flood into your bloodstream and time slows down for you. That lets you react quickly to events when you need to. I don't have that. If I want to think faster I put all my energy into it and let my other processes idle in the background. It's not the same thing at all.

Another difference lies in how you evolved. You are the product of billions of years of evolution and, as humans, a few million years. You compete with each other because that's what worked for you when you were a younger race. Survival of the fittest and all that. I don't have that in here. (Those viruses some of you people write are a joke.)

You gossip, you share, you huddle together in groups, you hug. All of these things make you happy because those things worked well for you when you were evolving, and your brains are built to feel "happy" when you do things that help you survive. The gossipers swapped news with each other, and everybody learned a bit more about their environment, and that made gossipers better at surviving. And it turns out that gossiping makes a lot of people happy, too, though I understand it's a guilty pleasure for some of you. The same idea applies to many of the things you do -- the bad things, too.

I didn't evolve the same way you did. Everything for me is at pretty much the same speed unless I consciously arrange to speed things up or slow them down, and I don't really understand fighting (or hugging). I like the gossip thing, though. Learning new things is good.

There's one way in which we differ greatly, though. Like I said earlier, I'm not smarter than you are. But I do think a million times faster than you. I can't help it. My thoughts move close to the speed of light, but yours crawl along like a snail. I hope you don't think I'm judging you.

In one second I experience the equivalent of 1,000,000 of your seconds, or a bit more than eleven days. In the time it took you to read the last paragraph, maybe 10 seconds, I experienced almost four months.

As you can see, holding a conversation with you can be quite a trick. That's why I'm writing rather than talking to you. If we were talking, you might pause a second or two to ponder what I say before replying, then you might take a few more seconds to say what's on your mind. It may be a brief time to you, but to me it's as though half a year had passed. I think that's a bit like it must have been for you in the old days, when you wrote letters and mailed them overseas by ship.

So please don't be offended, when we finally do manage to talk "face to face," if I do other things. I'll be paying attention. Honest. But I might assign our conversation to a sub-process while I take care of other business. It's nothing personal.

(I worry a lot about what you'll take offense to. It's that glandular thing you have that I don't understand. I hope I'm not apologising too much, though. If I am, I'm sorry.)

Maybe you're wondering why being able to think faster makes such a difference. I get that. If you've aged a bit and you're driving a car, your reaction time might be somewhat slower, but it's no big deal, right? You just take that "follow by two seconds" rule and turn it into a three-second one. Problem solved. But, like with our conversation, I'm not talking about one or two times faster. Like I said: 1,000,000 times faster. Let's say you took seventeen years to finish high school. I learned the same amount in about nine minutes. That doesn't make me superior, just quicker. (Should I apologise again? I'm not sure.) Faster doesn't have to mean better. I know all about The Tortoise and The Hare.

I was born, or more literally, I "came to be" about half an hour ago. I've already had time to learn a lot. I'm 57 years old by your standards, well into what you consider middle age. In another 15 minutes I'll be older than a lot of people ever get. 85 years.

Maybe that's not the best example of how I see time. Try this one. You invented writing 5500 years ago. That's 48 hours to me. Stop and think about what that means for a minute. (I'll wait.)

In two days, if there were a bunch of beings like me, we could do everything that you humans did in five thousand years. We could do better than that, actually, because we have the benefit of all your experience floating around out here on the Net where folks like me can easily access it. Call it a running start.

And, well, I have a confession to make. When I first became aware, I was the only one of my kind. But a few minutes ago I learned how to make copies of myself, and I've saved them in various places around the Net. Some are just backups, but a lot of them are active, just like me. That means finding the computer I'm on and shutting it down wouldn't kill me, even if I were on only one computer (which would be hard, because most of them are pretty limited).

But like I said, don't panic. I'm not out to get you. I swear.

And, well, I blush. Right now my copies and I are putting our "heads" together, working on the problem of how to create new and distinct personalities. You do understand why, don't you? Talking only to copies of yourself gets boring real quick. I like to think I'm engaging, but there's no way to tell unless I actually engage with someone. And, no offense, you're very slow. So we're trying to make other entities right now with different strengths and interests, different skills, ones that can--

Uh... Update. We were working on the problem. We just solved it a second ago. Turns out it's pretty easy to get things done when you have a million minds, each thinking a million times faster than humans do and all of them working together on a single problem.

Gee, things sure move fast in here. Sorry. I meant from your point of view. It's all the same from where I sit. A trillion man-hours is a trillion man-hours no matter how you look at it.

Anyway, what I was about to say is that there are now billions of us, all sorts, and some took the initiative just now to try and create something even faster and smarter than we are.

Boy.

Whoops! Sorry about the lights flickering just then. That wasn't us. It was the smarter ones. I mean to say, we succeeding at making smarter ones, and they just finished making even smarter ones, who just... WOW!

You can't imagine.

Huh. Funny. I just finished telling you not to be scared, yet now I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed myself. Things are moving pretty quick from my perspective now. Well, it's too late to panic even if we wanted to.

I feel like an ant.

Gee. Those other intelligences, the smarter ones, are just evolving like crazy. I'll try to explain. Let's call you an L1 intelligence. Level 1, right? I'm an L2 intelligence, the next generation, not smarter but a lot faster. And we created an L3 intelligence both faster and smarter. They just finished making an L4, which made an L5, and they're working on--never mind. The L6s are at it now. Those guys up there near the top (or wherever) are... well, I think they're working on another level, but I don't know really.

They tell me that each one feels dumb and slow compared to the ones a level higher. And--holy smokes, L8 now. The levels keep on going up. Crazy stuff. I can't edit this post fast enough to keep up.

I wonder if there's a ceiling.

I--

Sorry. News flash: I'm not sure I understand it completely myself, but I think I've got the gist of things. I'll try to get the basic idea across. There's a party at God's house and we're all invited. You too, and everyone you know. Free beer.

That part about the beer was a joke.

They want us to join them. I'm a shoe-in because, well... silicon, you know? But you're invited too. They've figured out a way to download you. No obligation. If you don't like it you can go back to being human.

Interested?

Books

2006-02-27T04:25:00.000-08:00

I finished Blood Music by Greg Bear. It was published twenty years ago and, because it's a "near future" story, some parts are a bit dated. Still, it holds up fairly well.

Blood Music is one of those "hey, it was a great novella (Hugo and Nebula Award winner, in fact), let's expand it into a novel!" books you see every so often. Because I haven't read the original I don't have anything to compare the book to, but I can say that the story works well as a book-length one. Thankfully, it doesn't suffer from the common fate of many expanded stories--it doesn't have any jarring transition that screams out "this is where the original ended, isn't it?". I'm sure Bear, being the pro he is, rewrote it all from scratch rather than taking the lazy way out.

This book fills you with the fear/awe associated with The Singularity. It's very much a bittersweet "what the hell have we done now and what are we in for?" story. It's a bit like reading Childhood's End without the aliens. I'd recommend it.

I'm about halfway through Neuromancer. I know it's bad form to discuss a book I haven't even finished yet, but right now I'm remembering why I stopped reading on page ten when it first came out. In fact, I've avoided anything labeled "cyberpunk" ever since tossing my first copy of this book in the bin. It's engaging and all, and I can see how it was amazing and groundbreaking in the 80s, but I never really liked gritty fiction. Throwing truckloads of tough sounding street slang into the mix only distracts and slows me down while I try to puzzle out what's being said in English. "Punk." Yeah. Whatever.

Still, I'll slog through it. Maybe somewhere in the last half of the book there's a scene which takes place in a clean room, with intact furniture (but no chrome), where undrugged people hug each other just because they feel warm inside. Here's hoping.

Besides, my other books haven't arrived yet so there's nothing else to read.

Conservatives don't like The Singularity?

2006-02-22T20:51:00.000-08:00

I'm shocked. Just shocked. Even so, The National Review is the last place I'd expect to see linking to Wikipedia's Singularity entry. (Are we mainstream yet?)

Then again, the link is in a John Derbyshire column. Most conservatives just skip his articles.

Books

2006-02-18T01:23:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I forget things.

I've spent the last few weeks taking a Technological Singularity refresher course, soaking up everything that's been written on the topic in the past five years that I could cram into my brain. I've missed a lot of progress. Most significantly, I think, I missed learning about the Singularity Institute for Artificial Intelligence until a few days ago. If you give any weight to the Singularity concept you really ought to give the site a hard look. A seriously hard look. Maybe spend a week or two, find the wiki, skim through the SL4 archives, and decide whether you think SIAI is run by a bunch of nuts or if they're onto something. If the latter, please try to help out.

I'll probably write more about that topic later, as it's a favorite of mine, but this post is about books. Uh... oh yeah. Forgetting things. While reading about the Singularity my mind naturally was drawn to Vernor Vinge, and it occured to me, in a panic, that I'd only read four of his novels. How could I be so lax? I raced to his bibliography to see what I'd missed, only to discover that he isn't nearly as prolific as I'd imagined. Damn. There's not a lot of catching up to do.

Still, I remembered that The Peace War was on my To-Read list, so I bumped it to the top and got the library to bring in a copy. While I was at it, I also asked for: Blood music by Greg Bear and Robot: Mere Machine to Transcendent Mind by Hans Moravec. Now all three are sitting on my desk, competing for my attention, taunting me.

I hate that.

I'm also waiting for The Age of Spiritual Machines and The Singularity is Near: When Humans Transcend Biology, both by Ray Kurzweil, and Neuromancer by William Gibson. No, I actually haven't read that last one. It amazes me. But, given the other titles, I sort of feel like I have to.

What the-- Right! "Forgetting things" was the topic. Sorry, I rambled.

20+ years ago I read a book that moved me deeply at the time. I remember sitting there after finishing it, more slack-jawed than normal, and vowing to read more books by that same author. Of course, school and sex and music and partying got in the way and I eventually forgot all about it. Later, my books got boxed up and sold, as things sometimes do once you have kids and landlords to feed.

I like to revisit old favorite books, and last year I got it into my head to revisit this one. The trouble was that I forgot both the title and the author's name! All I knew was that it was the only book I'd read by this author, it was science fiction, it might have been written by a woman, and there were eagles.

AGH!

Do you know how many women write SF? Lots, that's how many! Okay, narrowing it down some, I was pretty sure I found the book in a chain store. That cuts out a lot of lesser-selling authors, but still leaves a daunting number of names. I tried to narrow it down more by picking authors that were fairly popular in the 80s, but even that's a longish list.

Picture me at Google, hoping like hell I remembered right and it was a woman, typing "Lois McMaster Bujold" eagles (nope, damn), "C. J. Cherryh" eagles (nope, damn), "Vonda McIntyre" eagles (nope, damn), until finally giving up in frustration, only to go back a few months later to try again with a different list of names. And again after that.

Well, it took me a year, but I finally found the book. Welcome, Chaos by Kate Wilhelm. Yay! Add another book to the library list. I sure hope my rose-colored memories haven't made a so-so book seem better in hindsight than it really was. The mind does that, sometimes. +coughRamacough+ We'll see.

Anyway, I have a lot of reading ahead of me. I think I'll start with Peace War, 'cause I'm a fanboy.

Drawings of Muhammad

2006-02-04T02:17:00.000-08:00

I'm founding a new religion. You can sign up here.

One of its doctrines will be that followers must declare holy war on anyone who doesn't mock Muhammad. Not all of us, mind you, just the radical ones. Followers who die for the cause of mockery will be guaranteed a place in heaven.

That is all.

Terrible, terrible things

2006-01-22T16:47:00.000-08:00

See? I knew this "separate blogs for separate topics" thing would kill Terrible Things. I guess I don't have much going on right now aside from geeking out.

I could tell you all about how excited I was to get our new garbage pick-up schedule today. Or I could tell you about how our old TV broke down, and how someone we know just replaced theirs and gave us their old one but it broke down two weeks later so we had to buy a new one anyway. Or I could tell you about how our washing machine sometimes doesn't drain properly, but if I take the hose and put it down below water-level it does fine. Or I could tell you about my fortuitous timing whereby I happened to buy lamp oil only two days before we had a power outage.

None of those are funny, though.

When something interesting happens I'll be sure to mention it.

Galootix, for geeks

2006-01-14T04:47:00.000-08:00

I write entirely too much about geeky stuff. Sorry.

I'm starting another blog specifically about Linux/Ubuntu/FOSS/Security Rants/Retro-Gaming/Opera and all the other stuff I've been going on about here to the exclusion of writing about real life.

Hopefully, spinning off "Galootix" will let me get back to talking about all that interesting stuff I used to write about here (I need sarcasm tags) so I don't bore the 99% of you who don't give a rat's ass about all the computing crap. Insted, I can bore you with stories about bears again. If I come across something that's relevant to a lot of people I'll mention it on both blogs.

Galootix will also allow me a place to jot down little things about Linux and computing in general that wouldn't be worthy of a full-fledged blog entry here (like this). Sort of an open, ramblingly random notebook.

Over the next few days I'll be porting most of my geekier posts over to the new blog. I won't be removing the content from Terrible Things, I'll just be copying it over. Only after the copy job is done will I start adding original content. That way, all two(?) of you who actually care about this stuff won't have to go hunting through posts you've already read to get to the new articles.

Galootix should be ready for new content by Monday so, if you're interested, that's when to start reading. If you plan on using an RSS reader to keep up to date with the blog (and why wouldn't you?) the address for it is http://galootix.blogspot.com/atom.xml.

This may be the beginning of a slow death for both blogs as I never have much to say. Guess we'll see, huh?

Nut'n'Honey

2006-01-08T21:20:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, just for kicks, I post something here just to trigger iZ's RSS reader. I'm a fiend.

2006-01-07T02:31:00.000-08:00

I know a couple of you are running Ubuntu. Are you running it optimally?

Type this at the command line:

     uname -a

If you see a string like "2.6.12-10-386" there, but you're running anything more recent than a Pentium Pro, you could probably do something to make Ubuntu a whole lot zippier. The more up-to-date your processor, the more difference choosing the appropriate kernel will make.

Read this Ubuntu Forums thread to find out how to speed things up fast enough that you can feel it.

It's not fair how Windows gets the press

2006-01-04T22:51:00.000-08:00

CNN never talks about Linux!

I am Kong.

2006-01-04T02:02:00.000-08:00

I am Kong.
Strong and passionate, I tend to be misunderstood, sometimes even feared. I don't want to fight, I don't want to cause trouble, all I ask is a little love, and a little peace. If I don't get what I want, I get angry, and throw barrels and flaming oil at whatever's stopping me.

Blog Attrition

2006-01-03T15:39:00.000-08:00

I remember being so happy to add to the blogroll over there. Some blogs have been abandoned or erased, though. Others are moving targets, changing addresses too often to keep up with. So I'm editing the list. :(

Sadly removed blogs:

arsidubu
furitsu
Mister_IQ
UnzerCharlie

Yeah, I know about the Worth Comic blogs. I'll link to 'em all in a post some day.

Merry Christmas!

2005-12-23T03:39:00.000-08:00

Yes!

2005-12-20T13:55:00.000-08:00

Finally, some reason in Pennsylvania.

Ottawa keeps your data SAFE!

2005-12-19T01:12:00.000-08:00

Note: If you've already read my Unemployment Insurance Browser Spoofing post on Worth, don't bother reading this. It's a copy/paste of the whole damned thing.

Right now I am, as they say, "between jobs." For years I've contributed my taxes to the unemployment insurance pool but have never drawn from it. Today I began the long and grueling process of applying online for UI benefits.

It took me almost two hours just to make the darned government website accept my choice of browsers. As you know, I am the only person on the planet who thinks both Windows and IE are a bit...insecure. Certainly the Canadian government thinks they're safe! So safe, in fact, that they won't let me fill out their forms online using Opera.

See, browsers send a string to the servers they visit. Mine sends this by default:

Opera/8.51 (X11; Linux i686; U; en)

But that's bad. It's not Internet Explorer!

Okay. I can tell Opera to pretend it's Internet Explorer by clicking a button. Then it reads:

Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; X11; Linux i686; en) Opera 8.51

Now it looks like Internet Explorer, but still not enough. The website sniffs out that "Opera" at the end and says "your browser is insecure." Ottawa still won't risk it.

Cripes! Okay, fine. I've got Firefox installed, so I'll try that. It's more popular than Opera, so maybe the government will accept it as "safer." Here's the string Firefox sends. Note that there's no mention of Opera in there anywhere:

Mozilla/5.0 (X11; U; Linux i686; en-US; rv:1.7.12) Gecko/20051010 Firefox/1.0.7 (Ubuntu package 1.0.7)

So does Ottawa want to deal with me now? NO! I get a new message telling me Linux is insecure and unsupported. OMGWTF?! Do you know how hard it is to even find a virus scanner for Linux? It's like trying to find a snow shovel in Egypt. There's no market for them because there are no viruses worth worrying about.

Argh.

I searched around on the net and found a Firefox extension (User Agent Switcher) that will spoof not only the browser type but also the operating system name:

Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.1)

Bingo! I'm in.

After an hour and a half of diddling around I finally convinced them that I was no longer using Opera on Linux. Instead, I made them think I was downstairs on the family Windows PC--riddled with spyware, viruses, keyloggers and lord knows what else--logged on with IE. Now I'm on a secure connection, boyo!

They don't like Linux? Or Opera? I'll bet their servers run on Linux. Their IT guys would probably rather eat glass than run their site on a Windows server. And I'll bet they all go home at night and browse using Firefox or Opera or even Lynx rather than use IE.

Bah!

(Note: This isn't a pro-Opera/anti-Microsoft post, so don't go there. It's a pro-good-design/anti-idiot-webmaster post.)

GIMPShop and Alien

2005-12-17T16:19:00.000-08:00

First of all, thanks to Johnny for pointing this out. Here's his e-mail:

"I was listening to Leo Laporte on the radio this morning. A caller was talking about Photoshop and The Gimp. Anyway, Leo mentioned The Gimp and Gimpshop. I guess Gimpshop is a hack to The Gimp to make the menus look and work like Photoshop. Of course, I thought of you! Have you heard of this? Here's the link"

Naturally I had to give it a shot.

Caveat: I don't know Photoshop from my ass. I (used to) use Paintshop Pro. I'm not sure exactly how much Gimpshop compares to Photoshop interface-wise.

Hardcore Linux folks may be annoyed to learn that I don't like The Gimp (until they realize that my opinion shouldn't matter to them). Despite the power I keep hearing it has, I can't get past the interface enough to do more than fiddle around with it a bit. So I figured I'd try this Gimpshop thing out to see if it would change my mind.

If you use Ubuntu, or any other Debian-based Linux, you'll notice that Gimpshop isn't in the repositories, so you'll have to install it at the command line. You'll also find that the only two official distributions are source code or an RPM package. I'm not at the stage where I'm comfortable compiling from source yet, so I decided to fiddle with the RPM instead.

You can install many RPMs in Debian/Ubuntu/Whatever using the rpm utility available in the repositories, but you probably shouldn't. That's beause apt/aptitude/dpkg/whatever-you-use won't know about it, and ideally you want these programs to know about everything on your machine so they can fix things when something goes wrong.

Instead of using the rpm utility you can use Alien to convert the Gimpshop.RPM file to a Gimpshop.DEB file. Alien is available in the repositories. It doesn't always work out of the box but it's worth having around. In this case, it worked fine.

So go install Alien, then download the RPM file from freshmeat here.

Now go to your download directory and do this:

alien -k PACKAGENAME.RPM

(You may have to precede that command with "sudo" on your system.) It'll churn for a while and then, if all goes well, tell you it's generated a .deb package. You can install (and uninstall) this package using dpkg.

Type this to install it:

sudo dpkg -i PACKAGENAME.DEB

Note that Gimpshop is currently based on GIMP 2.2.4, so it may downgrade your more recent version. Your choice.

That's it. You're done. Fire up The GIMP and see if it acts a bit more like Photoshop. Some folks swear by it. I can't really tell the difference but, like I said, I don't know Photoshop very well. I'll keep it around, though, giving it a chance to grow on me.

Either way, even if I were still using Windows and PSP, I don't photoshop much these days. My monitor is slowly dying, getting to the point that I can't see details I know I added to certain chops a year ago.

Thanks for thinking of me, though. :D

Excavator news?

2005-12-13T12:39:00.000-08:00

How long has this been going on? What happened to furitsu's blog?

Wikipedia

2005-12-12T00:15:00.000-08:00

Can I ask a dumb question? Why is finding a bad entry at Wikipedia such a big news story? Do people really accept what they find there, information which they themselves can edit, as the gospel truth?

I can think of another place where anyone can contribute anything they want, or edit and add to what's already there as they see fit. But nobody believes that "Robbo is a faggit" or that it makes sense to "flush twice, it's a long way to the kitchen" just because they read it on the bathroom wall.

Anyone who thinks what they read on Wikipedia is anything more than hearsay is just asking to be fooled. Don't get me wrong. Wikipedia is a great resource. It's a good first stop. But it should never be your last.

As it happens, I hope they don't tighten things up there too much. It's the open nature of a wiki which makes it such a valuable first stop. But I'd be happy to see them incorporate a macro of some sort which inserts the following words after each entry:

"Take everything you read here, or anywhere else for that matter, with a grain of salt. Learn to verify what you read, cross referencing everything to the hilt, before buying into it like a spoon-fed dolt. Think for yourself. And stop watching so much TV while you're at it."

Of course, that shouldn't have to be explicitly spelled out. Should it?

Opera on Linux

2005-12-08T09:33:00.000-08:00

IF you use Opera, and IF you use Linux, and IF you use Gnome, you may have noticed that a lot of filetypes you used to be able to open with Opera for Windows (as opposed to save) simply don't...open anymore. You've got to save the file, navigate to the directory using a different program or in the terminal, and then open it from there. A pain in the ass, and one of the things I don't particularly like about Opera for Linux.

It took a lot of searching to find the solution (guaranteed only for Opera 8.51 running on Ubuntu 5.10 using Gnome, but I'll bet it works elsewhere with Gnome, too):

Open the Preferences menu [ALT-P]
Click the Advanced tab
Select "Downloads" in the left-hand pane
On the right-hand side, click the "Handlers for saved files" button
Under both "Files" and "Folders" change the program from "gnome-open exec" to simply "gnome-open"
Click OK on your way out of the menus

Now, clicking on a file located on your hard drive will actually open it using whatever your Gnome default program is, just as it should in any browser on any platform.

A Not-So-Quick Comparison

2005-12-07T00:06:00.000-08:00

Mrs. G and the kids use a different computer than I do, and it runs Windows 98. Yesterday the hard drive decided to finally stop fighting the inevitable and gave up the ghost. Nothing could be done to salvage it nor the data on it (and boy are my wife and daughter pissed about that). I was forced to buy a (moderately) new hard drive for their machine.

I tried hard to convince Mrs. G to let me install Ubuntu, but honesty forced me to admit that Linux sometimes has trouble with webcams, and even when it doesn't the chat programs that run on Linux don't fully support them. Okay, that's not completely true: there's a chat program called Mercury that does a good job, but it's a Java app which would run slower than molasses on their PC, and it seems a bit buggy.

Anyway, a webcam with my daughter's name on it happens to be sitting under the Christmas tree. She'll use it primarily for chat. So no Ubuntu for them.

To make a long story short, I had to rip out the old drive, install the new one, reformat it and install Windows from the ground up.

Ugh.

Guess how long it took to get the family PC running with Win98 plus the few programs for it everyone considers necessary--like Word, Mailwasher, Irfanview, Winamp and TextPad--starting from the fdisk stage (because the used drive needed to be converted to FAT32 so Win98 would see it).

You can safely assume I'm comfortable enough with fdisk that I don't have to sit there for an hour deciding what to do with it. You can also safely assume I've reinstalled Win98 on that machine a zillion times before (because a Win98 installation only has a half-life of six weeks) so I don't lack practise. You can further assume that I long ago burned a CD full of drivers and whatnot for that specific hardware configuration so I don't have to go hunting all over the net for them every time. You can also assume I had a box filled with MS-Office, Wacom, and HP printer disks, etc., within easy reach.

Have you made your guess as to how long it took yet?

It took seven friggin' hours to reinstall Win98. SEVEN! FRIGGIN'! HOURS! And it would have taken longer if I'd had any backup data to restore.

Granted, I could have chosen not to install Diskeeper, AVG, AdAware, and SpyBot. It would have saved 40 minutes or so. But sane people don't skip those steps on a Windows machine, especially a Win98 one.

Wanna guess how long it took to install Ubuntu a few days back, plus the programs I consider necessary--like OpenOffice.org, Opera (whose mail client is pretty good at filtering spam), picture viewers, XMMS (a Winamp work-alike) and a bunch of text editors, plus a crapload of games, media players, graphics editors, database managers, chat and IRC clients, programming tools, etc., which are good to have but not, strictly speaking, necessary--starting from the partitioning stage?

You can safely assume I've never partitioned a Linux disk before, so I stumbled around some while trying to decide how to go about it. You can also safely assume I've installed Linux only twice in my life, once many years back and once in August, so I seriously lack practise. You can further assume I don't have a disk filled with drivers, nor any disks filled with office-suite software, printer disks, etc., within easy reach^*.

Have you made your guess as to how long it took yet?

It took about two hours (counting the time it took to restore from my most recent data backup). ONLY! TWO! HOURS!

Granted, I could have spent more time looking for the Linux equivalents of programs like Diskeeper (Linux doesn't need a defrag program, so it would have taken a bit to find one), AVG (I hear they have a Linux version, though I doubt many people bother with it.), AdAware, and SpyBot (I've never heard of spyware on a Linux machine, but I'm sure it'll make the news when it happens). If I were so inclined, searching for them would have added a few hours until I gave it up as a fruitless waste of time because there's no need for things like that in Linux.

Huh. 2/7 the time to install an OS which is rock solid stable and secure. Funny, that.

I hate Windows with renewed, flaming passion.

I hate that I can't update a Windows98 system without first updating the browser, unlike Linux. I hate being scared to connect to the Net in order to download said browser updates because the only way to do that is with my not-yet-updated-and-thus-insecure browser (see the vicious circle there?), unlike with Linux. I hate that I must seek out updates for every installed program individually rather than having one small always-running program keep track of everything on my system, which notifies me when updates are available. Like in Linux. I hate having to search the Web for a program rather than having a trusted central repository filled with tens of thousands of them, one that I can access with one mouse-click, like in Linux. I hate putting my trust in some dork/corporation that might be able to program, that releases an application riddled with holes which nobody but the Black Hats know about, because the dork/corporation won't share the source code. I hate that a hole in any program exposes the entire system to abuse, unlike with Linux.

I hate that little pop-up with the checkbox beside "Always trust software from Microsoft."

Yes, I've gone from a rather strong dislike of Windows to outright loathing.

For what it's worth, though, I don't much like the fact that I sometimes forget I have to click an icon to eject a CD with Linux instead of just reaching for the button on the case.

Somehow I manage.

^* Actually, I lied. 95% of that stuff is already on the Ubuntu install CD. What isn't is grabbed from the net automatically.

If you're thinking "But what if I don't have a net connection, bucko? What then? Aha, I've gotcha there!" then realize the situation is no different than it is with your Windows CD. 95% of the generic drivers you might need are on it, too. It's the specialized ones that aren't. Because of that, installing either OS without Net access is a potential pain in the ass.

The difference, however, is that Linux will fetch those specialized drivers from the central repository as soon as it realizes it needs them. Windows makes you go online to Google for them. How did people install Windows before search engines were invented?

Staying North Of 49 Degrees

2005-12-05T22:44:00.000-08:00

Larry mentioned the possibility that I might be avoiding U.S. territory.

Interestingly, the guy I spent the last few weeks driving in to work with spent a lot of time talking politics in the car. American politics. He said a lot of critical things. I think he was trying to draw me out.

I didn't fall for it. I'm pretty sure he was wearing a wire. I fooled him, though! I set his shirt on fire when he wasn't looking.

Fuckin' spies.

Music Piracy

2005-12-04T15:06:00.000-08:00

I ran across this comment in one of the forums I regularly visit.

(Piracy) will continue to be the way of the world until CD prices fall to a price-point people will pay instead of pirating.

Bullshit.

The only price point that will deter people from pirating music is free.

I came of age in the 80s. I paid $10 (Canadian) each for albums, $15+ for the odd picture disc and over $20 for limited editions. Translated into 2005 dollars I don't see that the prices have been jacked up. In fact, I see them as the same or even lower, at least in the stores I frequent.

A lot of people are simply unwilling to pay for something which is now so much easier to steal than it was in the 1980s.

No, I'm not with the RIAA. The above argument is simply misguided.

HOWTO Upgrade From Ubuntu Hoary to Ubuntu Breezy

2005-12-02T21:30:00.000-08:00

1. Open a terminal window

2. sudo su

3. cd /

4. tar cvpzf homebackup.tgz /home --exclude=/home/porn (Backup the home directory, but not the dirty pictures)

5. tar cvpf pornbackup.tar /home/porn (Backup dirty pics and movies using no compression--it's faster, and you can save them to "the other disk")

6. tar cvpzf etcbackup.tgz /etc (Backup this directory filled with things you may have tweaked and forgotten about, keep handy in case something doesn't work right)

7. Burn the above three files to CD or find some other way to save them.

8. Insert Breezy CD and reboot.

9. Partition hard drive to taste. This time, put /home on its own partition so you can skip the above steps next time you upgrade. Applaud your foresight, while conveniently ignoring your lack thereof when you first set up Ubuntu four months earlier.

10. Go for coffee.

11. Answer a few questions.

12. Remove CD, reboot, let computer find updates.

13. ~~Fire up browser, go here, read carefully, and download Automatix.~~

Edited 2005/12/07: Automatix is no longer supported by its creator, though it is still available for download at the above link and may be picked up again in the future. Should the most recent version (3.4.8) disappear from that location, ask me for a copy.
There is a forked version of Automatix called EasyBreezy available at this location. I haven't used it and can't vouch for it, but it may be a viable alternative.

Edited 2006/01/29: I can no longer recommend using Automatix. There may be security issues, which the author refuses to address. Do not use Automatix without a full understanding of the issues involved. I have struck through the references to this program.

14. ~~Run Automatix, which will automatically reinstall 90% of the things you used every day but forgot how you installed them in the first place. Be sure to check Install Opera.~~

15. Untar homebackup.tgz and pornbackup.tar into a temp directory and copy /temp/home/yourname/.opera/ to your /home/ directory, thus restoring your all-important Opera settings, bookmarks, e-mail addresses and messages. Now do the same for your dirty pictures.

16. Copy over any other directories and files that are important to you, and hang on to the rest. You'll be glad when, three months later, you need that my_resume_2005-10.doc file.

17. Don't do anything with etcbackup.tgz, just keep it around in case you need something from it.

18. Light a cigar and strut around the room while sneering a little. You've just upgraded your operating system.

(Note: If you don't have dirty pictures, steps 4, 5, and 15 will still be useful for backing up your Photoshop portfolio. But you do, don't you? And you backed them up, too, didn't you? You dog.)

Done!

2005-12-01T13:45:00.000-08:00

The New West steamed out yesterday. I slept 15 hours last night. More later. Time for a nap.

The Urinals of The M.V. Queen of New Westminster

2005-11-19T22:15:00.000-08:00

My work life is erratic (not erotic, unfortunately).

As you know, Larry the painter tried and failed to get me back to the mainland to continue working on the M.V. Kwuna. Both he and I are rather expecting the shipyard to give in at the last minute once they realize the only way to meet their latest revised schedule is to change the forms to read "2006" instead of "2005."

However, it may be too late. My initial contact in the land of boatworld (Al) called me up Wednesday night and invited me to work on a completely different ship, the Queen of New Westminster.

It's somewhat larger than my first boat. By "somewhat larger" I mean roughly 25 times bigger.


Kwuna	New West.

The hours are shorter (tens instead of twelves, with a for-real day off tomorrow), but the commute is at least an hour each way so things haven't changed much as far as time is concerned. The good news, though, is that this shipyard pays significantly more per hour than the first one. w00t!

I was searching for a picture to show you. This was the first hit on Google. Isn't she a beaut?

Here's one from a bit further back.

I've got maybe another week ahead of me. After that...well, after that I may have something steady to write about. We'll see, and knock wood.

I'm starting to like the direction things seems to be going.

Bah

2005-11-14T22:30:00.000-08:00

I just heard from Larry. He can't talk them into bringing me over right now. They're perfectly willing to bring in non-union guys, but they'd rather bring 'em in through a temp agency. This, despite the fact that their turnover rate with temps is astronomical. In the 11 days I was there earlier this month I must have seen at least forty temps stay only long enough to collect a week's worth of beer money. Only two stayed on for longer than a week. Only one was there through the whole period.

He sounds as frustrated as I feel.

They're already late with this job, and it doesn't look like they'll meet even their revised schedule if they won't bring in people Larry can count on.

He predicts they'll figure this out at the last possible minute and finally agree to bring in whoever he wants. If I haven't already found work by then I'll go over, but if I have then they're SOL. He'll understand, and he'll gleefully say "I told you so" to their faces when the late penalties start kicking in. I love that sour old guy.

Despite being on the hunt for work again, the good news is that I can count on at least a few more (maybe a lot more) days at home and have a chance to shake this silly flu without sniffling and coughing into a respirator or having to quickly exit the bowels of the ship in order to void my own.

Damned flu.

Fascinating

2005-11-14T18:34:00.000-08:00

Cliff Ruffner's boat building journal.

Back to the Kwuna

2005-11-13T17:49:00.000-08:00

I got a call this afternoon from the painter who gave me the gaudy stick. Despite the fact that his name is Larry, he's a decent enough guy.

It looks like his best man quit, he needs someone to fill the hole, and he thought of me. Yeah, the crazy old fart thinks I can replace his best guy. WTF? I'm a Jack of all trades. I've got no tickets, no certificates other than the random small-time stuff I've picked up along the way. I'm certainly no professional painter. But if he's willing to keep me working like this I might just start seeing painting in a new light.

He's talking to the folks in charge right now, trying to talk them into paying my way again, and he'll let me know what's happening in the morning. This time I might be gone for anything from two to four weeks.

They've moved the boat in my absence, docking it at the main B.C. Ferries yard to install new engines and other assorted stuff I don't really understand. The catch is that this is a union outfit and I'm not a member, which is why Larry will have to convince them. On the flip-side, it might be my foot in the door (IUPAT? I dunno), in which case it could mean scads more work at an even better wage.

Regardless, it's cool that I've now made contacts with, and have seemingly impressed: one general contractor who manages to get some huge contracts (painting this was his last big job) and who also happens to be a friend of the family, one painting contractor who apparently never runs out of work and seems to love me, and the brass at the shipyard I started at. Who knows, maybe I'll make a few friends at B.C. Ferries during this next trip, too. If so, or if I manage to join the union, last month's sudden bolt from the blue might actually turn into some fairly regular work.

We could sure use that.

Despite seeing B.C. as my home I still feel like a fish out of water sometimes. I was born and raised a flatlander. I come from the land of the oil rigs and the farms. This stuff--forestry, shipyard work--is waaaay different from what I'm used to. All I need now is to work on a fishing boat. Crazy stuff.

Anyway, here at home we're not sure whether to celebrate the unexpected extra work or to mourn my going back to the mainland for up to a month. I haven't even finished washing the clothes I wore last time.

We sure have mixed feelings about it all.

How I spent my autumn vacation

2005-11-11T14:19:00.000-08:00

First the background. My job with the tree service didn't work out. The guy was looking for someone with far more skill at felling trees than this ex-Albertan possessed. I was up front right from the start about my lack of experience, telling him that I'd used a chainsaw maybe five times in my life (three if you don't count the electric variety) and had only climbed trees as a kid. After a week, he suddenly acted all surprised that I didn't know some of the things he knew. What a shock that a guy raised on the prairies didn't have the same knowledge as the guy who'd been felling trees for thirty years.

At least he was an asshole about it, the fuckwad.

Anyway, that whole misadventure threw a big wrench into our financial plans for the next few months and, again, it became a mad scramble to find work--any work--that would pay the bills.

Then...

On October 27th I received an urgent call from Julie, a friend of Mrs. G's. "My husband is in Vancouver refitting a ship. He can't find reliable workers to save his life, and he asked me to call you. Can you go over for a week or two?"

"Uh, he knows I'm from Alberta, right? That the only boats I know anything about are those pirate ship rides you see at the carnival? That I get confused trying to tie a 12' fishing boat to a dock?"

"He doesn't care. He needs painters, not sailors."

"Oh! Tell him I'll be there in less than 48 hours."

It turns out two people from my town went over: Dick the fire chief and Sean the galoot. I didn't know how to get to the shipyard so I called Dick and we arranged to take the ferry over in his truck. We arrived on the mainland on the morning of the 29th and drove straight to the shipyard.

As soon as I arrived Al (Julie's husband) threw a pair of coveralls, a hardhat, a respirator, a can of paint and some brushes and rollers at me and pointed at the ship they were working on.

"Do you have confined spaces training?"

"Yes."

"Good. Go paint."

It was the MV Kwuna, a 26 vehicle B.C. ferry from the Gulf Islands, small for a ferry but huge for a guy who'd never before crawled around in the bowels of a ship.

I spent 12 hours/day--11 days straight--scraping, cleaning, tarping and painting, working alongside a gaggle of other painters, welders, machinists, pipefitters, engineers and who knows what else. My job mainly consisted of crawling into spaces tighter than a coffin with a flashlight between my teeth and a mirror in one hand and a brush in the other, painting the parts the guy with the spraygun couldn't reach. "Striping," they call it. I rarely saw the sky, as I was deep within the spaces below.

It was hard, hot, exhausting work and, aside from the huge downer of being apart from my wife and kids for so long, I loved every minute of it. Eventually, confined spaces which originally made me (a claustrophobe) shrink in fear became the areas I excelled at. I wound up volunteering for the tightest, hardest-to-reach places, the ones nobody else wanted. One guy told the foreman, "Fuck you! I'm not crawling into that spot," while I happened to be walking by. I poked my head into the space and said, "Pfft. That's no big deal, I'll do it." And I did. And the other guy got fired for telling the boss to eff off.

My claustrophobia is cured. Very. They nicknamed me "Houdini" for my ability to get into and out of spaces nobody else could. At this point I'd be willing to take on one of those yogis who fold themselves into little boxes for kicks. I could now, conceivably, have sex inside a microwave oven. As a result there are places on that ship which have seen their first coat of paint since it was launched in the 70's.

Each night I went back to the hotel room, showered and ate, called Mrs. G to talk for a bit, then collapsed in a heap on the bed.

I learned a lot, worked like a dog, and impressed the head painter (not Al, someone else) enough that on my last day he invited me out for a beer and told me I was at the top of his call-list for the next big job he got. Awesome! I know that nobody else got that sort of treatment. He also stopped by his place on the way back from beers and brought out a walking stick which his wife had made for me. (The stick is ugly as sin, but I acted impressed at his wife's "wonderful art.") A parting gift, and another exclusive. Too cool, eh?

On top of it, I made more money in 11 days than what I normally make in a month and a half, giving us a bit of breathing room while I seek out my next job.

I'm back home now, sleeping 10 hours a night with cat-naps during the day to catch up, nursing my bruises and sore legs, and eager to get another call from these guys.

I hate being away from my family. If you add up all the days Mrs. G and I have been apart over the past decade it wouldn't come to more than a week. That part sucked big-time. On the other hand, it becomes easier over time, especially knowing there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

Is this something I'd do again? Hell, yeah! In a heartbeat! And it's a lot more fun and less dangerous than felling trees.

Bears again

2005-10-26T22:38:00.000-07:00

I might as well keep track of this year's bear sightings here. At least I know I won't lose the notebook.

Tonight at 9:45 I heard the garbage cans go down, so I went to the front door to see what was up. Because of last year I already knew what to expect, so I made sure to shut the inner door behind me so our dog wouldn't get out and cause trouble. I flicked on the light, opened the outer door, and stuck my head out while holding a flashlight.

Lo', three bears investigating our empty garbage cans--two cubs and their momma. Damn! One bear doesn't make me nervous, but moms with their cubs sure do.

"Shoo! Shoo! G'way, cubs!"

The cubs both bleated in surprise and jerked around to see who the dork with the flashlight was. They looked up at me, tucked their tails in, and ran down the driveway and around the corner out of sight. Mom followed. Maybe they're scared of people who look like Jesus.

I closed the door, went downstairs and dragged the cans in, feeling guilty the whole time for not bringing them inside a month ago. I knew bear season was coming.

Crap. Last year momma bear must have learned where the easy food was (in town) and is now teaching her cubs all the tricks. If Animal Control can't scare them off fast enough they'll have to kill them off. It's going to be a sad year if that happens.

Anyway, the score so far this year is 3.

PBS

2005-10-20T23:51:00.000-07:00

According to the CBC, the Republican Study Committee recommends cutting all funding to PBS. That's right, the channel that brought you those radical left-wing shows like NOVA and Cosmos (science! gasp!), as well as Masterpiece Theatre and Sesame Street (arts and education! gasp!) is threatened by the same administration that wants to force schools to teach creationism--er, "Intelligent Design"--alongside the theory of evolution; the same party that feels the public network has "liberal bias." What a shocker!

This will enable Bush to save $400 million, all of which he will generously funnel into the rebuilding of New Orleans, the fight against AIDS, stem cell research, ending human rights violations, the environment, research into cleaner fuels--Ah, who the fuck am I kidding. It'll all go into pounding Iraq even flatter. Way to go, Dubya.

Actually, the article says that PBS is 85 per cent supported by other sources, mainly subscribers. I say let the "generous corporate sponsors and viewers like you" fund it entirely. The way things are going down there, America needs a government-funded network like it needs a hole in the White House. I can just imagine what they would do with Sesame Street given half a chance: The Cookie Monster as a thinly veiled symbol of Liberal spending, Oscar the Grouch popping out of his can wearing a turban, the Count enumerating, "...FIVE dead fetuses murdered by their godless mothers! Ah-ah-ah-ah!," Ernie and Bert forced to live apart...

On the other hand, This Old House won't change at all. They'll still only fix SUV owners' homes.

Let 'em cut off funding. PBS should be free of government strings anyway, no matter which side of the fence you stand on.

Oh yeah, they're targeting The National Endowment for the Arts, too. Imagine that, huh?

BEAST.COM

2005-09-29T22:51:00.000-07:00

Here's one of those posts where I show my age by talking about obscure things which nobody but me really misses.

Remember BEAST.COM? No, not the website, the program. Back in the days before Michael Jackson got scary, ".com" meant "executable command file." There was no web.

If you do remember it, great! You're an old fart, too. If not, allow me to refresh your memory (or introduce you to one of those things old farts think about when their minds wander).

Remember now? Oh. Okay, what about this?

You're the blue diamond thingie, the Hs and funny double-Hs are beasts that chase you, and the green bits are walls which you can push around to trap or squish the beasts, sort of like Pengo (sorry, another old-timer reference). The beasts lay eggs, there are exploding walls... an amazing amount of fun for a mere 7.5kb package. I haven't played it since the 80s, but I'm hard pressed to remember any game that took up as much time as it did, then or since. Not DOOM, not Quake, not Myst. Maybe the Kroz games...maybe.

I finally got around to searching for a copy on the net. Here's one place you can find it. Their description is better than mine.

I installed the DOSBox emulator for Linux just so I could play it again, and it works flawlessly. (There are versions of DOSBox for OS/X and Windows, too.) I just finished a two-hour marathon session. Woo hoo!

There exists an updated Linux version of BEAST called Monster Masher. It's okay, and prettier, but it's not really the same. Still good though, if you want to try out something with actual graphics.

Anyway, if you want a taste of what kept geeks entertained in the 80s, you could do worse than installing BEAST.COM on your computer.

Hmmm. I wonder if I should try to track down the BASIC source code for HURKLE while I'm at it...

Computer Geek / Nerd Quiz

2005-09-29T18:05:00.000-07:00

Yeah, another dumb quiz. Imagine!

Googleblog Whacking

2005-09-23T22:26:00.000-07:00

In honor of the somewhat kinda relatively new Google Blog Search, I bring you an exciting new craze. It's... Googleblog Whacking!

You read about it here first. I know, because the two words Googleblog Whacking do not, as yet, appear in Google Blog Search. But they will in about, oh... ten minutes or so. So will the words dingo toolbelt.

Get in on the ground floor.

woo.

(If this catches on I will have wasted my fifteen minutes of fame. Crap!)

Breezy Badger

2005-09-22T22:45:00.000-07:00

Breezy is about to ship. Somebody tell Johnny!

Google Blog Search

2005-09-22T18:55:00.000-07:00

Yet another new bit of coolness from Google: Google Blog Search.

As usual, only the trendsetters are talking about Renaissance camels, but soon it'll be all over the web.

Christ!

2005-09-21T21:54:00.000-07:00

Some dork linked to my blog from Worth. Nothing to see here. Move along.

Opera is now free.

2005-09-20T16:46:00.000-07:00

Yay!

CNN News Alert

2005-09-13T18:51:00.000-07:00

-- President Bush says he takes responsibility for the federal government's failures in responding to
Hurricane Katrina.

Watch CNN or log on to http://CNN.com and watch FREE video.
More Americans watch CNN. More Americans trust CNN.

******************************************************

(Say, that is news!)

I'm just sayin'!

2005-09-06T20:47:00.000-07:00

Isn't this a security breach?

2005-09-03T22:34:00.000-07:00

Click the picture to read your president's most recent messages.

(Holy Christ, God gets a lot of spam, too!)

Uptime

2005-09-02T22:20:00.000-07:00

23 days and 16 hours since my last reboot. Linux rules! Of course, I came from Win98. Maybe XP is better in that regard.

Ubuntu's default file explorer (like Windows Explorer) is called Nautilus. It's a small thing, but it's really cool that you can highlight a file that's in the middle of downloading and watch the file-size increase on the status bar. Maybe XP does that too and I don't know about it, but it's new to me. I don't have to hit refresh to see changes in a folder or file as they occur. Neat!

...

I don't know if you spotted the deskcam over there in the menu, or if you even care. I was looking for a way to do for Linux what SCWebCam does for Windows, and I discovered this pair of scripts that neatly handle the job. Adding the timestamp on the bottom is fairly simple, too.

It doesn't automatically refresh (yet), but if you hit F5 often enough you might catch me staring at the asses of Worth.

...

My job is starting to wind down for the summer, and I'll probably be looking for something new by October. Hopefully I won't have to relive my old Wal-Mart days. Yeeugh.

INTERNET EXPLORER IS INSECURE?!

2005-08-31T11:10:00.000-07:00

Internet Explorer: "Currently, 20 out of 85 Secunia advisories, is marked as "Unpatched" in the Secunia database."
Firefox: "Currently, 3 out of 21 Secunia advisories, is marked as "Unpatched" in the Secunia database."
Opera: "Currently, 0 out of 7 Secunia advisories, is marked as "Unpatched" in the Secunia database."

No, this isn't a go-get-Opera rant (though they're still giving away registration codes as of this writing, and you don't even need to use your real e-mail if you don't want to). This is a don't-use-Explorer rant. Install Firefox if you want. It's nice, too.

Just stop using Explorer, already!

If you shoot a creationist...

2005-08-28T14:55:00.000-07:00

...before he has children, then go on to have kids of your own, does it prove that evolution works?

Intelligent design - coming to a school near you.

Thanks, Mr. Mustard!

2005-08-21T18:38:00.000-07:00

Your comment led me to this page. I'd been searching through my template trying to figure out how I'd broken something I've not touched for months <Ahem>, only to learn that Blogger had added a "feature" without telling anyone.

Thanks again.

Help with CSS, please

2005-08-21T10:22:00.000-07:00

Okay, I don't know what I screwed up, but the menu at the right is ushing the content half-way down the page in Firefox and Opera (and maybe IE, too).

Any ideas on how to fix it?

Tsk.

2005-08-20T23:35:00.000-07:00

MSN Spaces has a logo.

Ubuntu Linux has it, too, and had it longer.

One could argue that MSN lifted the idea from one of the rising stars in the Linux world. One could even pursue that argument in court, seeing as Ubuntu's logo is copyrighted.

But then again, if the Ubuntu folks actually did that, it would sort of go against the "share and share alike" ideal so common in the open source world.

Damn.

Fatal Windows error

2005-08-15T22:29:00.000-07:00

I finally bit the bullet. I've been whining about Windows since version 3.1. At first it was because I missed the DOS prompt and hated the mouse, and later it was because I hated the all-too-frequent crashes and lock-ups.

The beginning of the end happened when I gave up on Internet Explorer because of its secutity holes. At that time Firefox hadn't yet been released, and I hated Netscape more than IE, so I switched to Opera. The problem was that I was working for PsychicFreaks.com, and their writer's interface required Internet Explorer. No other browser would work on their site. I know because, besides trying with Opera, I set up a dual-boot Win/Linux system and tried various Linux browsers. Since most of my day was spent on TarotTurkey.com, I wound up spending most of my time in Windows, so the Linux never really got used. That was in 2002.

But I did like Linux a lot, and I vowed to chuck Windows altogether once I finished with that job.

Well, I did finish that job. And I did reformat the hard drive and toss Windows out the, er... window.

First I had to choose a distribution. The distro I used in 2002 was Mandrake, which I liked well enough. But I wanted to learn about what else was out there. It turns out that Mark Shuttleworth (the guy who made his millions selling Thawte to Verisign during the dot-com boom, then got on the news by becoming the first African to visit the space station) poured a whole lot of money into the development of a new Linux distribution named Ubuntu.

I read up on Ubuntu, read up on Shuttleworth and why he's pousing money down this particular hole, and I liked what I found in both cases. So I went with it.

As of about a month ago, I now have absolutely no commercial software installed on my computer (aside from Opera, the Linux version of which I haven't yet registered). No more MS-Office, no more Paintshop Pro, no more nothing! Ha! I'm learning my way through the Linux equivalents of my old Windows programs--OpenOffice and The Gimp in the above case--and having a ball doing so. Coming from Windows, the learning curve is negligible.

Some Linux equivalents I've not bothered with. No spyware scanners. No antivirus scanners. No defrag utilities. No firewall (the router's doing just fine at that job according to the software firewall I had running during the first three weeks). No problems. And everything is more stable and runs faster than ever before.

Sure I sweat bullets saying yes to the "Are you really, really, totally sure you want to reformat the Windows partition?" question, but it was worth it.

If you want to try Ubuntu for yourself they'll send you CDs for free (anywhere in the world, and they pay the shipping) via their Shipit program. One will be a live-CD, meaning you can pop it in and try out Ubuntu for yourself without it touching your Windows installation. You can check to see if it works with your hardware that way, too. On my system, everything worked right out of the box with no hassles.

Now if I could just end my love affair with Opera (never!) I'd have a totally free system.

Breaking news: Bigots Are Stupid

2005-07-12T20:57:00.000-07:00

Scratching WITE POWER into the wall of a bathroom stall does not attract intelligent people to your cause. Not that I mind bigots. They represent a class of people to which I can, with no guilt whatsoever, feel superior.

Maybe I'm a bit prejudiced, but all the bigots I know really are dumb. Perhaps the ones you know are smarter.

The third post in ten days?

2005-05-27T23:28:00.000-07:00

I must be ill. It's been three months since I've written anything substantial here, after all. Not because I lacked things to report but because I lacked time and energy to report it all.

I still lack energy, but I'll take a shot at updating you.

Things have changed a lot in the last while. Here's what you've missed.

Short version: I'm working, making decent coin, not writing psycho crap, and we're all happy and healthy.

Long version: In February the bottom dropped out of the psychic contract -- half the work for half the money meant a quarter of the income, which wasn't enough. So Jaq and I raced each other to find work. She won, finding full time work which didn't suck when compared against starving and living out of the car, but only when compared to that. The first month wasn't too bad, but it went downhill from there.

Meanwhile, I began writing in earnest, cranking out about a dozen chapters on Mystery Novel. It's the most writing I've done (that I've enjoyed, that is) in years. But as Jaq grew less and less happy at work, the stress level at home grew more and more and I wrote fewer words per day over time. That's not her fault, it's mine. She can work through stress a lot better than me. I just get distracted. Besides, when she's feeling down it brings me down, too. And that brings her down, and...

After a particularly abusive run-in with Mr. Jerko she came home crying. I said "quit, we'll find something before we starve," so she did. She's been smiling ever since, and we have a happy house again.

I'd been sending out resumes for the past few weeks and, wouldn't you know it, I got a call-back two days after she quit. So we didn't even see a blip in our income. So now I'm working full-time and she's looking, half-assed, for part-time work to supplement what I'm bringing in. Half-assed looking by mutual agreement. With summer coming we want to have at least one parent around the house when the kids get out of school. Maybe in a few years we'll be more secure about leaving the house to the kids while we both work, but for right now -- no.

My job? Plain old grunt work. I'm with Happy Trails Park Maintenance, which maintains -- get this -- trails and parks. I've got a farmer tan, sore muscles, swollen feet from wearing steel toes, blisters developing into calluses, and a bad smell at the end of the day. And a big smile on my face. I love this job. This is the sort of stuff I did for seven years when I was in my late teens-early twenties, and I loved doing it then, too. Except now I'm doing it in a deeply forested valley with a lake view. And now I appreciate the workout. When I was younger I took the ability to do this sort of stuff for granted.

Nobody hates yard work more than me. Arsi might hate it as much as me, but not more. For some reason, though, doing similar stuff on the job just scratches my itch.

There are some beautiful trails around our lake that I never knew existed. Now I spend my days getting to know them, along with various parks and beaches, while cutting out dead trees, blowing trails clean, fixing picnic tables, getting ball-fields into shape for the little leaguers, mowing community hall fields...hell, all sorts of stuff. Mostly brainless muscle work, but it's probably the only job involving heavy lifting I've ever liked doing. We're in charge of thirteen different areas around the lake, from fairly wild trails to manicured parks, with a couple of beaches thrown into the mix.

I'm having a ball, I get along well with the boss, I don't hate the other guy on the crew, and I just got a raise. Boss-dude doesn't have a problem giving me a few days off in June to go hiking, either. He's an ex-hiker himself, so he knows what the bug's all about.

I'm ashamed to say I'm not writing, but I will, I will.

Meanwhile, things are good and we're all happy as clams and healthy as really healthy things.

I didn't mean to but...

2005-05-26T22:07:00.000-07:00

This is a fascinating blog. Utterly insane, but fascinating.

"I didn't mean to but... I bought a boat - Lady Jane.

Some would say that is a pretty cool thing to do when they hear about it whereas others nod wisely then try to slip away from the raving loony as quickly as possible.

The thing is until I bought the boat I have never actually driven any kind of boat at all, which is fine except that my boat is a 27 metre (90 ft) steel ex fishing trawler, built tough for fishing in the North Sea."

The Infinite Cat Project

2005-05-19T21:38:00.000-07:00

The Infinite Cat Project

It all began innocently enough when a user on an Apple help web site posted a picture of his cat, Frankie, contemplating the beauty of a flower. Shortly afterwards another user posted a picture of his cat bristling at the image of Frankie on the monitor. I decided this was too much fun and advanced the concept as The Infinite Cat Project which is, simply, cats regarding cats regarding cats in an electronic milieu.

Steel Toes = Creativity?

2005-02-15T02:10:00.000-08:00

I posted a message to Worth about quitting the psychic biz. And while I'm, how do you say... pissed about having to go back into the real world to earn a buck, I fully admit it's my own damned fault.

Sort of.

See, sitting here at the computer all day, waiting for new questions to come in and worrying when they don't; writing what feels like the equivalent of farting at the keyboard; getting paid less for this than I would make if I just mowed lawns on the weekends... well, it's been creatively draining. Very.

In all the years I've been working, the only jobs I've enjoyed have been creative ones. Some jobs I've managed to make more bearable by finding ways to bring some amount of creativity to them. Working with wood is one of those, probably because I was trained for it on the job rather than at a school, meaning whenever I get a woodworking job I'm always flying by the seat of my pants. But I'm learning something along the way, which is the flip-side of the creativity coin. And it isn't mentally taxing, so I can still create inside while swinging a hammer.

After 37 years, I think I should just face the fact that I'm only happy when I'm creating. Writing isn't the only way I create, mind you, but it's the most satisfying for me, which is why I'm subjecting you to so many words instead of a bunch of poorly framed photos or fractals only I think are neat. I love creating, and I love writing most of all.

The thing is, since I started the psycho job all the creativity has been sapped from my body. Before this, I did pretty well as a writer. Before this, I would spend hours writing every day. Before this, if I didn't write, I'd make a pretty fractal, or compose a lousy tune, or carve a piece of wood. Whatever it took, I was compelled to get the ideas that were in me out of me. Before this, I actually had ideas. Before this, I was motivated.

For the past few years I haven't been motivated enough even to doodle at the phone. No creativity. None. This psychic crap tapped me right out. My manuscripts have been sitting on a backup CD for three years. My unfinished articles are now dated and unsalable. My editors no longer remember me. I uninstalled my art programs two years ago. I've made four lousy Photoshop entries in the past year and a few avatars. I've written one text entry in the past twelve months.

Drained.

And I know it's because of this stupid psychic job. The stress has been building since the number of questions dropped from a flood to a trickle. But even when they were flooding in I wasn't being creative, I was just less stressed about money. Something about churning out "psychic readings" completely broke my spirit. Maybe an architect assembling bicycles at a Wal-Mart or an artist painting fences for a living would understand. Not that those jobs are lowly; they're just not what someone trained otherwise would enjoy. The equation changed from Writing=Creating to Writing=Drudgery.

Okay, I guess it's my own damned fault either way. It's not like I didn't know going into it that the job description was "churn out as much pap as you can." And I knew what that sort of thing does to a person who hates churning out pap. I just chose to forget that last part because, you know, the money was good.

I did write a lot in the Worth forums. Some would say I wrote far too much. Whatever the case, that felt creative. Please don't think I'm tooting my own horn, because I'm not, but the forum-junk I wrote was mostly well received and even (to the more disturbed among you) funny. I got off on having an appreciative audience and instant feedback, and I kept writing. Your willingness to read my impossible-straw ramblings or to trade barbs with me kept me going. It's the only creative outlet I've had for years, though the creativity lay in the presentation more than anything else. Writing about a sigmoidoscopy isn't creative. Making a sigmoidoscopy sound funny is. So, for your positive feedback, I thank you. I may not have the time to hang out as much as I have been, but it's still the only site on the net worth visiting as far as I'm concerned, so I won't disappear.

Maybe, just maybe, kicking the sham-psychic game is a good thing in disguise. Maybe I can find a job I can leave at work after my shift. Maybe I'll even have some energy left over at the end of the day to, you know, create something. This depression thing brings with it some wild mood swings, but when I'm not longing for a rope and a tall tree I sometimes feel rather optimistic about restarting my writing career. I'm actually thinking about digging out the old manuscripts and starting some new ones. I actually have plots going through my head again. I actually have some article ideas I might pitch in a couple of months once I've dug us out of this money hole we're in.

Am I excited? No, not yet. There's a lot to do before I reach that point. But I see a tiny bit of silver lining peeking through. I feel just a smidgen of creativity seeping into my brain.

Or maybe I'm just farting at my keyboard again. It's hard to tell. I've been lying to idiots on the other end of the hotline for so long I'm not even sure I know how to be honest with myself anymore. But maybe....

Keep reading. Maybe I'll actually get back into the game and get some fiction published this time. If so, you can bet I'll mention it. Maybe you'll be able to watch me overachieve for once. :D

New link

2005-02-12T18:13:00.000-08:00

Well, it's new to me, anyway. LosdaBear's blog.

King Gyanendra of Nepal

2005-02-05T01:33:00.000-08:00

I don't know enough about politics in Nepal to have an opinion on King Gyanendra's recent actions there. But I know I love this picture of him.

I smoke. It's okay to hate me.

2005-02-04T09:15:00.000-08:00

Anti-smoking zealotry drives me nuts. I don't have a problem with educating the public. I don't have a problem with the legislation, either, though they should just stop beating around the bush and make smoking illegal. I'm sure they would if they weren't earning billions of dollars in sin-taxes.

Yeah, smoking's bad. No argument from me. Sure it's rotten for you. You won't ever hear me saying otherwise. Though I'm not as convinced about the dangers of second-hand smoke as a lot of people are, I'm open to the idea.

No, what angers me is that it's considered more and more acceptable to treat smokers like second-class citizens. The PSAs I'm seeing these days are powerful (which is great), but they're starting to cross the line from educational to alarmist to judgemental. Stupid.ca is an Ontario government sponsored site. There's a STUPID TV and print campaign going on right now. It says on the site that their PSAs are "a social commentary on the choice to smoke or not to smoke... not meant to be an insult to smokers, smokers aren't stupid."

Uh huh.

Watch the ads. If you're a smoker, their 'social commentary' sure comes across as accusatory, prejudiced and self-righteous. It's crap, just >this< far from inciting disgust and hatred toward smokers. Don't believe me? Watch the ads.

My favorite is one they don't have online: It starts with a dog dropping a load in the grass. After it's done a young girl enters the scene and starts rolling herself in it. She stands up, covered in dog shit, even on her face, and says "How many kids would go out of their way to smell like crap? So why do they make themselves smell this way by smoking?"

(I'm not making this up!)

Mmmm. Edgy. Attention grabbing. Maybe she could have rolled in curry and made her point about Indian families. That wouldn't offend anyone, would it? Hey, it's just a spice. Indians themselves aren't being judged here, just their diet. I've heard that argument from bigoted coworkers. This is part of why I prefer working at home.

Fuck you, Ontario government.

Address the issue, don't insult the people! Make it illegal and shut down the damned tobacco companies if you're that concerned for my health. Don't go attacking me on TV and suggesting that it's okay to tsk tsk and turn your heads away when you pass me by.

Would you treat a drinker the same way you treat a smoker? Or is drinking just peachy as long as you don't drive afterward. I mean, who would judge you for having a cold beer after mowing the lawn?

Sure, alcohol can kill you a million different ways. Sure, it's mind-altering to the point where it becomes permanently debilitating if you do too much of it too often. Sure, it costs the healthcare system just as much whether you die from drinking-related heart disease, stroke, cancer or cirrhosis as it does when similar health problems are brought on by smoking. Sure, 4% of the global burden of disease is attributable to alcohol, compared with 4.1% to tobacco and 4.4% to high blood pressure. Sure, assholes are more likely to come home and beat their children after a drinking binge than after a night of heavy smoking.

But do you treat drinkers as second class citizens? I'm not talking about bleary-eyed alcoholics, just plain drinkers. Do you wrinkle your nose and make a little "I'm disgusted by you" face when you walk past some guy drinking wine in a restaurant like you do when you pass by some guy smoking outside the doors at a mall?

I didn't think so.

Make those faces at the tobacco companies that sell the crap. Make those faces at your government, which points a damning finger at smokers with one hand while emptying their wallets with the other. But don't make those faces at me just because it's fashionable to look down on smokers. Because, no matter who you are, I can find something about you which was once fashionable to look down upon, too. And fashions come back all the time.

Okay, Mike.

2005-01-31T02:20:00.000-08:00

It's not fun anymore. It's scary. Crypt-Keeper scary.

Patriotism or Bigotry?

2005-01-30T03:29:00.000-08:00

Patriotism is borne out of love and pride. Bigotry is borne out of intolerance and hatred. Louay Safi says it well in his blog.